Stink Up The Neighborhood This July 4th

On this Fourth of July, remind yourself that we were once but colonies of the great Britannia, with this Union Jack Firepit Brazier, constructed from stainless steel and versatile enough to let you use it as a barbecue grill and then gather around it and sing "Kumbaya" afterward. Now you can join the pyromania as you build a fire in one of these little outdoor smoke-producing devices. It's a fad that seems irresistible to almost everyone as they plod through their lives of quiet desperation in Suburbia, USA.

This is one fancy outdoor fireplace, where it will set you back $368.60. Please, don't buy one of these if you're anywhere in the Midwest, because we have so many of these stinking up the neighborhood that every night it's like we're living inside of a smokestack at a wood-burning power plant. So in the words of our second president John Adams, go ahead, celebrate the 4th with "pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other." Just not in my back yard.

Product Page [Eurocosm, via productdose]