Breaking: First in Line Guy is a Pro Linesitter, Sweats a Lot

[UPDATED: Nipple Shot by Infoweek] You know that guy who's first in line at the 5th Ave Apple Store? Greg Packer? Turns out he's no Apple fanboy. No, he's an obsessive linesitter. He was the first person to see Ground Zero when the viewing platform opened, the first to sign the condolence book at the British consulate when Princess Diana died, and the first in line to greet President George W. Bush after his inauguration. Hell, the guy waited in line for eight hours to meet Brandy. Brandy!

What in the hell? Waiting in line overnight sucks, but this guy has made it his personal mission to be the first to do whatever crap there is that people are willing to wait for. Will he even get an iPhone? Does he care about the iPhone at all? Does he know what an iPhone is? It seems like he just likes the attention and seeing his name quoted in papers who don't realize that he isn't a genuine fan of whatever event is being covered. The dude has his own Wikipedia entry for crissakes, and it's huge.

And Greg, buddy, come on. If you're going to gun for attention, at least make yourself look respectable. You slept on the street with no shirt on last night. No shirt. We've seen some grainy photographic evidence, but we're looking for some nice, stomach-turning, high-res shots. Who's got 'em? My email address is on the left. Let's make this happen.

Thanks to everyone who sent this in!