Pirates are stupid. Ninjas are where it's at. But if you somehow have the misguided notion that pirates are cool, there's this iPhone pirate app that lets you take a picture of someone and make them into a pirate.
See how stupid that guy looks? Making him a pirate just makes him look stupider. If he were a ninja, you wouldn't need a hat, a mustache and a beard. You'd need a eraser, because ninjas are frickin' invisible. You know how today is talk like a pirate day? The other 364 days of the year are talk like a ninja day. And what do ninjas say? Nothing, because they don't need to. They just kill you silently. Know how those three pirate movies made so much money lately? Well, ninja movies make even more. You know why? Because they're in every single movie. You can't see them because they don't want you to. [Pirate]