Friendless inhabitants of cubicles the world over will be happy with this three-tiered alarm system that guards your work space. Should an intruder penetrate that little gray area you call your office, alarm #1 alerts you to the fact by flashing lights and making a hideous noise, at the same time arming the second and third alarms. Alarm #2 then locks on to the trespasser, targeting them with a red light, before alarm #3 launches a couple of foam missiles at the guilty party. I can't decide whether this $39.99 system is sad or funny. Oh, and any cake-stealing geeks out there, then get in touch with me for basic lessons in how to nick yourself a nice Battenberg and not get fingered for it. Speed is the of the (vanilla) essence, really. [ThinkGeek]

Contact information for this author is not available.