Two 8-year old geniuses have invented wedgie proof underwear—more than a decade too late for us. Simplicity is the key to all great design, as the inventors showed when they presented the Rip Away 1000 on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, which is the most unlikely platform for the display of the 8-year olds prodigious talents.

The Rip Away 1000, as the name implies, tears into two pieces when a wedgie is attempted. This leaves the playground bully reeling with a handful of skid marks. Brilliant. The two parts are held together by Velcro, which we think may be a design flaw. Velcro rubbing up our southern regions might be a tad discomforting. That reminds us of the Deep Heat/boxer shorts prank. Oh it burnt—those were the bad times. [Strange New Products]