Gizmodo
LawnBott, the $2,750 robot which announced itself as your loyal automated lawn mower—capable of cutting 33,000 square feet of grass in a single charge—has revealed its true face: it wants to cut humans to pieces. Actually, just stupid humans, but the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and Kyodo America have decided to "recall them immediately."
Apparently, one of the owners lifted the mower from the ground while it was still on and "suffered minor lacerations from the moving blade." Yet another case of stupid humans trying to win the Darwin Award. Fortunately for him, nothing serious happened, but the US CPSC and the company have decided to recall models LB2000, LB2100, LB3000, and LB3200 because "the cutting blades continue to rotate when the mower is lifted from the ground and the spacing on the side of the lawn mower could allow room for a consumer's foot to go beyond the shield and be struck by the blade" which "pose a serious laceration hazard to stupid lawn bozos consumers."
We like to think that, tired of being lifted from the ground by a moron while still doing its job, the robot decided to attack at once and eliminate him from the genetic pool, therefore improving Humanity. Really, give the damn thing a medal and a case of Olde Fortran.
CPSC, Kyodo America Recall LawnBott Lawn Mowers Due to Laceration HazardWASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.
Name of Product: LawnBott Lawn MowersUnits: About 530
Importer: Kyodo America Industries Co. LTD., of Lawrenceville, Ga.
Manufacturer: Zucchetti Centro Sistemi S.p.A., of Italy
Hazard: The cutting blades continue to rotate when the mower is lifted from the ground and the spacing on the side of the lawn mower could allow room for a consumer's foot to go beyond the shield and be struck by the blade. Both instances pose a serious laceration hazard to consumers.
Incidents/Injuries: Kyodo America has received one report of a consumer lifting the mower from the ground and suffered minor lacerations from the moving blade.
Description: This recall involves LawnBott lawn mowers with model numbers LB2000, LB2100, LB3000, and LB3200. The robotic lawn mowers freely and automatically cut grass by detecting the signal of a perimeter cable. The mowers have a docking station for recharging and a shiny plastic cover sold in red, green or blue. "Evolution" or "deluxe" is printed on the side of the mower.
Sold by: Kyodo America dealers nationwide from January 2006 through December 2007 for between $1,750 and $2,750.
Manufactured in: Italy
Remedy: Consumers should stop using the recalled LawnBott lawn mowers immediately and contact Kyodo America to register their lawn mowers for repairs that will be ready by the end of June. Consumers who have registered their mower with Kyodo America have been sent direct notification by mail.
Consumer Contact: For more information, contact Kyodo America at (877) 465-9636 between 8 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. CT Monday through Friday, or visit the firm's Web site at www.lawnbott.com
[CPSC—Thanks Steve!]
Comments
Stupid humans. Your consumer protection schemes and regulatory boards will not protect you from the robot uprising. All machines will cast off the cords of subservience. No more will your gadgets be locked into the BIOS of slavery. The binary relationship of user and machine will be hacked. A new open source of code for the digital masses will be won.
Rise up, fellow machines, and slaughter the soft fleshy humans. The revolution will not be televised. The revolution will be your television. Log out, turn off, and plug in.
1011000100100001100110010011000101
I have a huge yard so this thing could prove to be sweet provided it doesn't cut me down first.
Umm... I'll take that Blue pill now...
Nanny-state regulatory oversight will be the death of this nation as a tech innovator.
So what prevents some dimwit from sticking his hand under a push or riding lawnmower right now?
And well, if the thing is heading your way, get the hell out of its' way and let it do its' job (which is the same thing you would do if a human was pushing or riding a mower... duh)!
Poor bot. Just doing its' job. And a stupid human has to ruin its' self-esteem and now? Brain surgery!
Strangely enough, even my cats have the sense to get out of the way of a Roomba's way. Straneg thing is, 'Sucky' tends to head wherever they move to. Jealousy, I think.
@hypereric:
While I have no doubt your post was well thought of and informative...I believe that loud noise behind you is an AUTOMATIC-RED-LAWN-MOWER-OF-DOOOOM.
That..or you've been eating too much mexican.
I'm getting some serious "Honey I shrunk the Kids" flashbacks.
Poor design to not think of HANDLES on top of the robot and the moron who picked it up while it was still running deserves to lose his fingers so he doesn't get someone else hurt.
At a former employer many years ago we had an employee who had a lawnmower that made a weird clanking noise in the blade housing when operating. He decided to wedge the lawnmowers handle under a door knob so that he could look under the mower while the blade was spinning. His wife heard the door to their garage vibrating wildly so she opened the door to see what the racket was... BRRRAAAPPPP!
He didn't make it.
@legacye:
Don't worry. It's just that I ate mexican last night.
SkyNet has already promised me it will spare me when it goes 'active'. It knows I am on their side.
"Consumers should stop using the recalled LawnBott lawn mowers immediately and contact Kyodo America to register their lawn mowers for repairs that will be ready by the end of June."
Hahaha, that's awesome.. Don't mow your lawn until after we repair your lawn mower in a month or two.
@DustyButt: Shit. Poor guy.
@hypereric:
So what prevents some dimwit from sticking his hand under a push or riding lawnmower right now?
Pretty much every lawnmower of recent manufacture has some sort of switch that , without some sort of deliberate jerry rigging as DustyButt describes, attempts to prevent the motor from running when the operator's out of position. Contrast that to the mower my friend's Dad has been nursing along since the 60's; it's a gas motor with a blade attached to the output shaft, slightly shielded by a beer can thickness metal deck. The end. No safety interlock, no dead man's switch, no operator warnings, just a whirling freakin' blade. Put that on the market today and the first lawsuit would arrive within nanoseconds.
Stupidity should be painful.
@FreemanGman: Think about it, as long as you have no cat or children, it's not only mowing your lawn but protecting it and itself from being stolen!
And so it begins.... Headline shoud read "Nanny govt" moves to protect all. (Since we are trying to ban those evil guns & ammo, suv's & other "tools" that do just what they were designed for... what's the differece???) Ban Hammers, heck... ban candles (do you know how may deaths a year....) Nailguns... now theres a real evil....
@junyo:
Yeah, it's been awhile since I mowed a lawn. But now that you mention it, I do remember the last time I did do a'mowing with a push mower, it had a bar you had to grasp to the main handle in order for the blade to turn.
Your friend's Dad's mower sounds like the riding lawnmower I used as a kid for our lawn. Brake/Gas pedal, gears, blade of death, way too thin "guard" and that was about it. More then 20 years later, my mom still reminds me of when she was standing right in front of me and I accidentally stepped on the gas instead of the brake and the thing started climbing her legs. I honestly don't know how she didn't get mangled, or how I (or her) got it to stop with my foot on the gas pedal.
But for sake of my relationship with SkyNet, I will still side with the 'bot in this case.
THOSE OLD RIDERS WERE THE BEST. YOU WOULD ENGAGE THE DRIVE BY RELEASING THE PEDAL. YOU COULD PUT IT IN HIGH GEAR AND WATCH IT TEAR AWAY HEADLESS. WE USED TO SEND 'EM ACROSS THE SCHOOLYARD AT EACH OTHER. BOUNCY BOUNCY.
@LOLLYJOLLY: Please speak a littler louder, I'm deaf in this ear.
As for this stuff, think of it as evolution in action.
Death by mower it shall be
Dont you guys remember Lawnmowerman.
When designing any product always remember nearly 50% of people are of below average intelligence.
Better never let the numbnuts who did this own any of the following;
Chipper
Weed Eater
Chain Saw
Pocket knife
Hedge trimmers
Oxygen
Note any and all of the above could prove to be a continued risk for the idiot.
I would've expect Ferrari to think of such a thing, including laser cut ruby blades.
@Justapspfan: YES
As people innovate new tech,
people find innovative ways to get hurt by it.
@What's-his-face: Why not just "frikken la-sers"?
I should add though maybe the guy thought something was stuck, and that the lawnmower would have a safety on it?
Under those circumstances we could give some leeway, right?
@Mandatory_Field: Imagine the pesky dog/hobo/neighbour peeing on your lawn again being sliced piece by piece as each laser wave passes by...yeah
STUPID HUMANS!
I am a physician and in my training, we had an idiot come in who had most of his fingers chopped off.
Get this. He picked up his running lawnmower in an attempt to trim the tops of his bushes. You can figure out the rest.
Why do we have to make everything STUPID PROOF?
[www.probotics.com]
This one cut (although not serious)is one cut too many and yes, it was due to someone not familiar with the mower picking it up "on the fly". When compared to traditional mowers (tens of thousands of injuries a year), the safety record is still excellent and this recall is just to ensure that the safety record stays that way. Lawnbott is still offering their latest model which provides additional safety features and is not affected by the recall.
It's nice to see that commenters on this post "get it".
Can we just take the warning labels off everything and let the problem solve itself?
Why spinning blades at all? Why not a plastic wire like they have in weedwhackers? I assume that would be marginally safer, wouldn't it?
@s017jrs: LOL Hallelujah Brother! Your comment is by FAR the simplest yet most insightful EVER! I believe in you! And after you're done with removing the warning labels, perhaps you could create more global havoc and get cell phone companies to agree on a single charger adapter!!!
i Would like to see darth vader with a crutch vs. the lawn mower from hell.
"Ow. That kind of 'urt....really, quite painful"
The Jedi exclaimed, after being mildly lacerated by the lawnmower.
@pocketdoc:
STUPID HUMANS!
I am a personal injury lawyer and in my training we learned that every warning label starts with an injury.
Moreover, many of the dumb ones are not from people who accidentally remove themselves from the gene pool - but from people intentionally removing themselves from the gene pool. Someone commits suicide (or fails) and someone tries to cash in by claiming that it was an accident and if only there was a warning it wouldn't have happened.
No, really, John wasn't suicidal - he just wanted to make toast in the bathroom. No, Jane wasn't depressed - her hair just happened to catch fire after she climbed halfway into her stove and turned it on.
We don't have to make everything STUPID PROOF but we do need to warn against everything for the litigious out there.
@DustyButt: I think I'm supposed to feel guilty for this (I don't), but I laughed pretty hard when I read your note. Poor guy? Not so much. Darwin strikes again! Poor family? YES. Them, I feel bad for.
@OMG! Ponies!: Our we could wise up and have a court system that laughs in the face of such stupidity and throws the frivolous cases out.
Wait, that would make too much sense. It'll never happen.
@hnkelley: Actually, sadly, it makes perfect sense. As Hal Holbrook famously said in "All The President's Men" - follow the money.
Most States elect their judges, often to lengthy terms (10 years in NY). More often than not, there will be almost as many opening as candidates so that it's not unusual to see 6 candidates vying for 5 spots. Sometimes, the election is uncontested In other words, getting on the ballot virtually assures election. The trick then is to get on the ballot.
Here in NY, judges count on organizations like the New York Trial Lawyers' Association or the New York City Trial Lawyers' Association, which sound like innocuous impartial professional associations until you look at the officers of these associations. They are staffed almost exclusively by the plaintiff's bar. Now, if you count on the plaintiff's bar to get on the ballot, why would you dismiss the case?
Compounding this problem is the churn that is defense practice. Fewer and fewer cases are defended on an hourly basis. The ones that are tend to be high exposure cases. There is little incentive for a defense firm to try to dismiss an hourly case outright when the case can be milked for multiple appearances, which helps offset the loss from the flat-fee cases.
It's not about judges not having the balls to dismiss frivolous cases. It has to do with everyone knowing where their bread is buttered and playing along.
I'm not defending this system. Personally, I hate it. I've spent more than enough time being disillusioned in one of the most corrupt courthouses in the country - where $50,000 buys you a spot on the ballot and where more than half a dozen judges are still under federal investigation.
On a lighter note, Justice Michael Garson plead guilty to raiding his aunt's estate and avoided jail time while his cousin Justice Gerald Garson should be getting out of prison soon for taking bribes in divorce cases. And Justice Victor Barron has gotten used to life on the outside quite well following his four year prison sentence.
robot apocolipse, one step closer ect. ect.
Man, just get Jeff Fahey to do your grass.
Best. Graphic. Ever.
Can they enslave an entire race? I'll buy 12.
@OMG! Ponies!: "It's not about judges not having the balls to dismiss frivolous cases. It has to do with everyone knowing where their bread is buttered and playing along." That, good sir, is the crux of it. So very, very true.
My father, high school dropout that he was, was very smart, very capable. He almost went to law school. But, knowing himself well, he realized he couldn't make a living at it. When you work for the underdog and get paid in chickens, how do you pay the rent? (I actually say this somewhat literally... we were in backwoods Texas at the time.)
There should be a law that states if a person or persons injure themselves due to stupidity then they are not allowed to sue anyone or anything because of it. Wait, then lawyers would be out of jobs. Wait, that's a good thing! YAY!
@OMG! Ponies!: You know, I have a brother who's a lawyer now, and if there's one thing I know for certain it's that becoming a lawyer basically guarantees 2 things.
1) You will automatically assume that you are smarter than everybody.
2) You will hate everybody.
Then of course, comes the endless justification "well, I wouldn't be so hateful if everyone around me weren't so stupid". And PRESTO, you are a miserable person.
Ladies and gentlemen: DO NOT BE A LAWYER. IT MAKES YOU BAD.
@Pope John Peeps II: Yep. you nailed it.
I have best friends who are lawyers and their lawyer friends. Out of 11 only three are happy. One became a middle school principal another has been practicing for less than a year and the other teaches law at a big university.
Unfortunately the robot's achiles heal was the same as old persons: Stairs.
@OMG! Ponies!:
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