Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Creating an organization bent on world domination takes more than just a maniacal leader with a high, cackling voice. It takes underlings. Henchmen, if you will. But these are no Bond villains. Bill Gates rewarded his geniuses with stock, just as they rewarded him with their hard work and ingenuity—and they wound up very rich. Over 10,000 Microsoft minions have become millionaires through the company's runaway success over the past three decades, and more than a few have dedicated themselves to the kinds of causes and business ventures that only the super-well-heeled can afford. Here are some of Bill's Made Men (and Women).

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Paul Allen

Current Job: Owning the World

Years at Microsoft: 8, but stayed on as a senior strategy advisor

Position: Co-Founder

Paul Allen has more money than most countries. He owns, among so many other things, the Portland Trail Blazers, the Seattle Seahawks, the future Seattle Major League Soccer team, most of the South Lake Union neighborhood of Seattle, the seventh-largest yacht in the world, Charter Communications, a large stake of DreamWorks Animation, and you and your entire extended family. He has donated, as of 2007, roughly $900 million to charitable organizations. He bought the guitar Jimi Hendrix played at Woodstock. He has a flower fly named after him. This is unconfirmed, but Paul Allen may in fact be a mythological money-making deity. He owns the words I'm writing at this very moment. That one, right there, he owns that.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Chris Peters

Current Job: Owner of the Professional Bowlers Association

Years at Microsoft: 18

Position: Programmer, Vice President

Chris Peters, Microsoft's 105th employee, was unable to qualify for the Professional Bowlers Association after his retirement as Vice President. So he did what any self-respecting technology executive/bowling enthusiast would do: bought the league, saved it from extinction, and became a bowling hero despite not really being a pro-level phenom.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Stephanie DeVaan

Current Job: Abortion Rights Activist

Years at Microsoft: 5

Position: Software Marketing

Stephanie DeVaan is the founder of the Washington Women for Choice, a Seattle-based PAC working to preserve women's rights with the help of her Microsoft millions. I've got a lot of respect for her group, but I am annoyed there's really nothing funny you can say about abortion.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Raghav Kher

Current Job: Bollywood Empresario

Years at Microsoft: 8

Position: Acquisitions

Seventymm, Raghav Kher's fourth company, is India's answer to Netflix. Kher saw the endless stream of films—totally and offensively indistinguishable to Americans—coming out of India, and jumped at the opportunity to bring online DVD distribution to the country. The Bollywood film industry has yet to burst into spontaneous, colorful song in thanks.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: John Sage

Current Job: CEO: Pura Vida Coffee, Hippie

Years at Microsoft: 10

Position: Marketing Executive

Not to be confused with the 14th-century English torturer of the same name, this John Sage took his Microsoft riches and expertise to a number of startups, currently the philanthropic Pura Vida Coffee Company. Pura Vida trades in organic, shade-grown—and fair-trade—Costa Rican coffee, harvested by angels on high and delivered by equitable-wage-earning teddy bears to your local campus coffee shop. Huggable tree not included.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Ric Weiland

Most Recent Job: Board of Directors, Pride Foundation

Years at Microsoft: 13

Position: Lead Programmer, Project Leader

The project leader for Microsoft Works and lead programmer for the BASIC and COBOL language systems, Ric Weiland was described as a "brilliant programmer" and key to Microsoft's success by Paul Allen. Before his untimely passing in 2006, Weiland was one of the nation's most powerful LGBT activists, contributing over $30 million in his lifetime and bequeathing $65 million more while never seeking the limelight for his work.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Charles Simonyi

Current Job: Space Tourist, Philanthropist

Years at Microsoft: 21

Position: Developer, Project Leader

The Hungarian-born developer Charles Simonyi oversaw the development of two of Microsoft's most profitable products, Word and Excel; started a successful intentional programming firm called Intentional Software; embarked on a ten-day mission to the International Space Station; and donated millions of dollars in grants to Stanford and Oxford Universities as well as the Seattle Symphony and Public Library. More importantly, he has been dating Martha Stewart for over fourteen years. I bet he's got some really beautiful doilies on his unfortunately-named super-yacht, Skat.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Richard Brodie

Current Job: Professional Poker Player

Years at Microsoft: 5

Position: Developer

Richard "Quiet Lion" Brodie was the original author of Microsoft Word, and subsequent creator of that squiggly red underline that makes fun of you when you forget how many Rs there are in "embarrassment." Now a professional poker player who has competed in the World Series of Poker, he was banned in May 2007 from all Harrah's locations in Nevada, California, and Arizona for a string of lucky wins on their video poker machines. The ban was lifted, but his "kind of a badass, at least for a former Microsoft employee and poker player" reputation persists.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Rob Glaser

Current Job: Chairman and CEO of RealNetworks

Years at Microsoft: 10

Position: Vice President of Multimedia

Described during his time at Yale as politically "slightly to the left of Che Guevara," Rob Glaser has used his Microsoft earnings for both business and politics. Politically, he has supported Ralph Nader and Mother Jones, an ultra-liberal/commie/pinko magazine, among others. In the business world, he founded everyone's favorite company, RealNetworks, infuriating music-loving nerds for over a decade. I think that Eagle-Eye Cherry music video I tried to stream back in '98 is STILL buffering.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Andrea Lewis

Current Job: Freelance Writer, Co-Founder of Richard Hugo House

Years at Microsoft: 5

Position: Technical Writer

Andrea Lewis was Microsoft's first technical writer, and one of the illustrious original eleven employees who took part in that deliciously dated and nerdy 1978 company photo below. (We bet Andrea knows how to spell "embarrassment.") She was integral in turning Microsoft's early techspeak into something normal folk could understand, helping the fledgling company get a foothold in the early '80s. Now a freelance fiction writer and journalist, she helped found the Richard Hugo House, a literary center in Seattle.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Bob Greenberg

Post-Microsoft Job: Doll Magnate

Years at Microsoft: 4

Position: Developer

Though currently he is again working in the software industry, Bob Greenberg took a substantial detour from the tech world to create a pop-culture icon of the 1980s: the rotund, empty-eyed and nightmarish Cabbage Patch Kids dolls. The dolls' official website describes the birthing process: flying bunnies sprinkle cabbages with magic crystals, leading to the birth of these spherical-headed plastic terrors from said leafy vegetation. Normally I'd question a story like that, but it's right there, plain as day, on the internet.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Gordon Letwin

Current Job: Environmental Philanthropist

Years at Microsoft: 15

Position: Project Developer

One of the two lead architects of the OS/2 operating system, Gordon Letwin was recognized by Bill Gates as his programming equal. He had the longest tenure of any of the original eleven Microsoft employees, other than Gates himself, and left the company in 1993 to spend time with his family and devote himself to green charitable causes. His other hobbies include making sure that his specific biographical details cannot be found online, as well as infuriating young writers who are just trying to find out which damn charities he's been helping.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Bob Wallace

Most Recent Job: Psychedelics Champion

Years at Microsoft: 5

Position: Production Manager, Software Designer

The builder of Microsoft's first Pascal product and one of the company's original eleven employees, Bob Wallace left Microsoft in 1983 to start his own company, Quicksoft. There, he coined the term 'shareware' and created PC-Write, a popular pre-Word word processor. But Wallace is perhaps best known for his championing of psychedelic substances, funding organizations including the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies, the Heffter Research Institute, and Erowid. He passed away unexpectedly in 2002, hence the lack of silly drug-related jokes.

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

Name: Nathan Myhrvold

Current Job: Renaissance Man

Years at Microsoft: 13

Position: Chief Technology Officer

After his company, Dynamical Systems, was bought by Microsoft in 1986, Nathan Myhrvold served as Bill Gates' chief technology officer, heading Microsoft's massive research programs. After leaving the company, Myhrvold began even more thoroughly winning at life. He's a prize-winning nature and wildlife photographer, published in a number of high-profile journals, and is involved with paleontological expeditions. He's also a French-trained master chef, and a winner of the world championship of barbecue in Memphis, Tennessee. He also runs a company called Intellectual Ventures, which manufactures patents for good ideas. The man can just about do anything, which can sometimes give others a sense of inadequacy about their own achievements. If it's any consolation, I hear he is, at best, a mediocre and even uninspired classical bassoonist.

Among this list of luminaries, quite a few were there for that first Microsoft family photo back in 1978:

Bill Gates' Made Men: The Wild 'n' Crazy Ventures of the Microsoft Millionaires

If you'd like to talk about your favorite Microsoft Millionaires, any that weren't included in this sampling, by all means do it. This isn't a "Top 15" or anything, just a fun roundup of people doing cool things.