Since 2008, Japan's subways have kindly asked that you do certain things at home, the beach or in your yard—anywhere but the train. But without reading the text, these images leave a lot of room for my misinterpretation...

Do not share food or love in front of a sad, injured man. He's in enough pain without you rubbing it in.

On a train, never, ever feed your shoe beer. Dude can't hold his liquor.

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During fits of train hail, under no circumstances should you swing at the ice chunks. They will multiply and occasionally crap, a la bird, onto other passengers.

Don't dive into a train. Because if you get caught be the doors, people will stand idly by while your body is ripped into two. Save such carnage for the beach, where the blood is easily cleaned up due to copious amounts of sand.

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Sticking your fingers into your headphones will not block the sound from your ears. And please conduct such experiments at home.

Women should never talk on the phone, no matter what emotion they exude. It's a known pervert fetish.

OK, this is the one shot where I kind of feel bad for the strange man in the glasses. WTF hikers!

If you are grasping a handle and find you forgot to wear deodorant, lift yourself above the crowd. Wait, no, keep your arms up and make people smell it. Wait, no, lift yourself. [Adme via copyranter via boingboing]