I haven't been to Burger King in a long while, but if the States implemented the "musical shower" heads that the Japanese experience in their "upscale" Burger Kings, I could be enticed back into the glutinous fold one last time.
Fancy name aside, these showers are pretty simple: Customers plug their iPhone or iPod into a dock, and then they're allowed to listen to their own music. BK installed them as part of a renewed "upscale" push to re-enter the Japanese market, which they had left for a while due to poor sales.
So what's the hook? Well, thanks to the half-sphere above their heads (pictured), customers can listen to their music as loud as they want without disturbing other customers. It's your own Fortress of Solitude, where you can slowly digest those 800 or so calories in peace.