7 Tools To Wake Your Ass Up on Black Friday

It's the most important shopping day of the year, but all the best deals go quickly. So given you'll be groggy from your turkey gorging, you need a surefire way to hit the stores early on Black Friday.

So here are seven of the most effective and unique alarm clocks around to get you up at the crack of dawn on Friday—if not earlier—ready to battle the crowds for this holidays' best deals.

7 Tools To Wake Your Ass Up on Black Friday

Sleeptracker Elite Watch

While you doze your body goes in and out of deep sleep cycles, and waking up in the middle of one can make getting out of bed feel like an impossible task. So the Sleeptracker watch monitors your sleeping patterns throughout the night, using a motion sensor to keep track of when you toss and turn.

It will then intelligently wake you up in the morning during those times when you're moving, which indicates a lighter sleep cycle. As a result you'll feel more refreshed, and the prospect of getting out of bed just to go and stand in a long, cold line will seem slightly more bearable. $149

7 Tools To Wake Your Ass Up on Black Friday

BioBrite SunRise Controller

Not everyone is programmed to wake up when the rooster crows, but we all seem to know it's time to get up when sunshine starts flooding into our room. So while alarms that recreate the effect of the rising sun using a built-in light that slowly illuminates aren't new, the SunRise Controller from BioBrite lets you plug in the wattage of your choosing.

So you can either wake to the soft glow from a bedside lamp, or put a set of industrial work lights next to your bed that will make being under the sheets feel like the last place you want to be in the early morning. $150

7 Tools To Wake Your Ass Up on Black Friday

Wake n' Bacon

The sounds of DJ banter, the smell of coffee, the glowing sun, none of these things can get my ass out of bed like the smell of freshly cooked bacon. And that's the genius idea behind the cleverly named Wake n' Bacon alarm clock.

Instead of making an annoying beeping sound, a hacked alarm clock turns on a set of halogen lights that gently warm a pre-cooked piece of bacon you've inserted the night before. Even if you keep kosher, the smell of salted pork is enough to get anyone out of bed. And if you're not, your reward for waking is getting to then indulge in the perfect breakfast. DIY

7 Tools To Wake Your Ass Up on Black Friday

Flying Alarm Clock

So far I've only brought you alarms that take a kinder, gentler approach to waking you in the AM. But if you're as heavy a sleeper as I am, you'll need something a little more motivational. Instead of a simple button to silence its morning cries, this alarm clock uses a special key.

A special key with spinning rotor blades that let it fly across your room when the alarm goes off, requiring you to get out of bed, hunt it down, and insert it back into the top of the alarm to turn it off. It's without a doubt annoying, but odds are once you're up and out of bed, you'll be awake enough to hit the showers and start your day. $20

7 Tools To Wake Your Ass Up on Black Friday

Banclock Money Bank

On a day that's all about spending, you need every cent you can find to make your shopping spree count. So I can't think of a more perfect tool for a Black Friday morning than this Banclock Money Bank.

The only way to get a few more minutes of precious snooze time is to feed it some change, and that's money that could be far better spent on discounted electronics. Given how often I hit the snooze button, my future kids would be severely lacking a college fund if this alarm clock were by my bedside. But even if you just use it once a year, it's still worth the investment. $62

World's Loudest Alarm Clock With Dual 140dB Horns

This one's definitely a do-it-yourselfer, but I guarantee your days of sleeping even while the radio is blaring in your ear will soon be over. To ensure he was always up on time in the morning, Kip Kedersha upgraded his standard alarm clock with a pair of 140dB horns that sound like the equivalent of a car alarm going off right next to your ear.

Not only will this hack almost guarantee that you don't sleep in on Friday morning, it will also get your neighbors up, and probably everyone living on your block. But I promise they'll end up thanking you when they've scored a laptop for $200. DIY

7 Tools To Wake Your Ass Up on Black Friday

Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock with a Super Shaker

Believe it or not, I'm not actually convinced that a couple of 140dB car alarm horns would be enough to reliably wake me after the most important eating day of the year.

So while this 113dB Sonic Bomb isn't quite the loudest solution out there, it goes one step further with a vibrator you can stick under your mattress, your pillow, or even directly under your head. There's a slim chance you might not hear the alarm when it goes off, but you'll certainly feel it. And let's be honest, you're going to end your shopping day with a headache anyways, so why not get started on those Tylenols first thing in the morning? $50

Photo: Associated Press/Ben Margot