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Microwaves Destroying Everything. Slowly.

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If mankind can ever reconcile its determination to construct edifices with its lust for things exploding in slow motion, we will have unlocked our essence as a species—tête à tête with God herself. Until then, enjoy shit bustin‘.

Wikipedia tells me the microwave oven was invented by Raytheon shortly after World War II. I’m pretty sure I knew that, but I wanted to double check before I wrote it down. Well, there it is. Now Raytheon designs and sells military drones. Drones. Popcorn. Hot Pockets. An exploding tomato. A Capri Sun pouch ignites. A hellfire missile lands somewhere in Afghanistan. Do you hear it? Did you see it?

This video was created to promote some awful-sounding restaurant called “Moe’s Southwestern Grill.” I bet they have things like “Jalapeno Shooters” and “Zest Bites” and other things that might give you mild diarrhea. But before that, you’ll place your menu on the table, look at your date, and then look down at the table. It’s clean but a little streaky—it should’ve been dried more carefully. But who the hell are you to ask for a better table? Just eat your Zest Bites and talk. You’ll look out the window at the parking lot. It’s getting dark. The lime sprays lime juice as the lime’s bombarded with radiation. [Daily What]

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