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thank giz it's friday
Rejoice! The week is at an end. You have worked hard and now it's high time you got to relax and enjoy a "Thank Giz It's Friday" roundup of gadgets that are pointless, vulgar, confusing and (in some cases) scary. If you find yourself saying "I have that!" a number of times while perusing the following gallery, it might be a good idea to sort some things out with a trained professional.
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10 Sex Toys That Are Confusing and Wrong (NSFW)
Rejoice! The week is at an end. You have worked hard and now it's high time you got to relax and enjoy a "Thank Giz It's Friday" roundup of gadgets that are pointless, vulgar, confusing and (in some cases) scary. If you find yourself saying "I have that!" a number of times while perusing the following gallery, it might be a good idea to sort some things out with a trained professional.
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4:00 PM on Fri Apr 11 2008
By Sean Fallon
243,989 views,
47 comments
gadgets
Inspired by our own Addy's post on a man and his "love" of robots, the guy at SlashDong decided to take a Fleshlight and make it into an input device for his computer. The whole setup costs about $100ish, and consists of a cap replacement for the Fleshlight, a control box, a rubber tube, and a USB cable. Oh, and an actual sex game to use it with. You didn't think you could use this to Photoshop, did you?
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A Fleshlight Turned Into an Input Device Lets You Control Your Computer By Fucking It
Inspired by our own Addy's post on a man and his "love" of robots, the guy at SlashDong decided to take a Fleshlight and make it into an input device for his computer. The whole setup costs about $100ish, and consists of a cap replacement for the Fleshlight, a control box, a rubber tube, and a USB cable. Oh, and an actual sex game to use it with. You didn't think you could use this to Photoshop, did you?
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inappropriate leds
Believe me guys, the innocuous image of LEDs posted at the top of this article is merely a front for the glory that awaits you in the video after the break. This juvenile delight comes to us courtesy of AudioJunkies after their visit to this year's Spring Break Nationals at Daytona Beach. One can only wonder where she was hiding the battery.
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LEDs Go Where No LEDs Have Gone Before: Buckle Up Guys (NSFW)
Believe me guys, the innocuous image of LEDs posted at the top of this article is merely a front for the glory that awaits you in the video after the break. This juvenile delight comes to us courtesy of AudioJunkies after their visit to this year's Spring Break Nationals at Daytona Beach. One can only wonder where she was hiding the battery.
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not a phone
Tenga Flip Hole Masturbatory Machine Has Me Foxed
I am ashamed to say that the first time I saw this, I thought it a clamshell phone concept. Called the Tenga Flip Hole onacup, it's a *whispers* wanking machine that opens up so you can clean it easily. It's made of silicon, and there are vacuum and pump buttons buttons on it for you to adjust the side and, er, pump. It's good for fifty goes, apparently, and will cost you $99, for which they throw in three pots of lube. There's a fascinating birds-eye view of it after the jump. More »
wrongmodo
Area 51 Sex Doll Has Three Boobs, Comes With Free Alien Lube (NSWF)
Today, after years of secrecy, autopsies, and extraterrestrial bodily fluids and Tijuana tequila cocktails, humanity jumps once again into the deepest pits of indecent horror, pits which we thought we wouldn't revisit again after the talking clown urinal, the sickening Jesuswitch and the twisted Spongebob Squarepants singing rectal thermometer. NSFW illustration ahead.
weird
Weird Car LCD Display: Phone Number Swapping While Driving?
Apparently, the Callme Prism is a phone-number-displaying LCD intended for those times you're in your car, stuck in traffic or at a red light, and you see an attractive girl pull up beside you. The Callme makers seem to think girls are into complete strangers who run game on them by sticking a screen up against a window. And they think she would call your number and have sex with you in the backseat of your car at a highway truck stop or something? Yeah...OK. The device retails for around $26. [Callme via TFTS via Jalopnik]
business time
Spaceship Fragrance Oil Warmer (Appropriate for Flash Gordon's Bedroom)
You finally brought that man/woman of your dreams back to your space den, and you're trying to seal the deal. May I suggest using this $15 Spaceship Fragrance Oil Warmer, the geekiest love aid we've ever seen. Imported from far off galaxies and recommended by captains by the name of Kirk, Gordon, Solo and Zapp Brannigan, I'm not sure how you could go wrong except if you tipped it over and caused a chemical fire in deep space and your airlocks all blew out before you finished your business time. [product page via Nerd Approved]
nsfw
Oral Sex Light Illuminates Your Dongle
The product is called the Oral Sex Light. We're not too sure much of an explanation is needed, but if you still don't get it, there's a completely NSFW explanation image after the jump. More »
condoms
New NYC Condom Dispensers Are Flying Pucks of Prophylactics
Does anyone else find the recent, um, thrust to sex up condoms a little ironic? Redundant then? The latest aesthetically enhanced condom gadget is a sleek new dispenser designed by Fuseproject for NYC condoms, which are free and available in lots of places in the city. The concept behind the design is actually a little weird. More »
question of the day
A British electronics retailer's survey concluded that 47% of men would give up sex for six months in order to get a free 50-inch Plasma TV. Amazing. Six months is a long time, and 50 inches isn't THAT big. So we pose this question to you, our readers. What's your no sex to TV ratio?
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Question of the Day: Sex or a Giant TV?
A British electronics retailer's survey concluded that 47% of men would give up sex for six months in order to get a free 50-inch Plasma TV. Amazing. Six months is a long time, and 50 inches isn't THAT big. So we pose this question to you, our readers. What's your no sex to TV ratio?
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gaming
Is the SeXbox 3600 too much SeXbox for you? Now there's a slightly cheaper version available in Japan that strangely mirrors the jump from the real Xbox 360 Premium to the Xbox 360 Core. Here's how we figure.
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SeXBox Gets Core Version, Plus Wiin Now Available
Is the SeXbox 3600 too much SeXbox for you? Now there's a slightly cheaper version available in Japan that strangely mirrors the jump from the real Xbox 360 Premium to the Xbox 360 Core. Here's how we figure.
More »
condoms
This Is Not What Your Girlfriend Wants For Valentine's Day
Sixteen years ago, after watching too many MC Hammer videos, Paul Lyons decided to patent the skeaziest thing he could think of (imagine taking that guy from Dual Action Cleanse infomercial's face and turning it into an equivalently sleezy product): A condom that plays music with every thrust. More »
perfect bed
Private Cloud Is a Rocking Bed (Both Ways)
The Private Cloud is a patented rocking bed by German designer Manuel Kloker. They don't tell the price, but it is real. You buy it and it's supposed to be all like, you know, wheeeeee, and then whoooooo, and then one goes like oh, what about and you are like hmmmyes, which gets into a hummmm oooh hmmm oooh mmmm gooodie and then the other is like oooohNICEyeslikethat and you are both like awwyeah and the bed is doing creak creak creak and suddenly you find yourself into a splooch-flap-splooch-flap-splooch-flap kind of messy situation and the bed keeps going creek-creak-creek-creak-creek-creak and then it's all gets into a ooooooh-my-godddd-SPLASSSSH-bufffff pant pant pant explosion which ends in a few smooch smooch smooch and zzzzzzzz.
gadgets
Do people often walk in on your copulation sessions? Just hang a Sex in Progress Light outside your door, fire it up whenever you're meat spelunking and no one will ever "accidentally" bother you again. And as our own Sean Fallon says, if there's ever a "Masturbation in Progress" sign, he'll let everyone know. [Baronbob via Nerd Approved]
Sex in Progress Light Broadcasts Your Achievement For Your Roommates, Parents
Do people often walk in on your copulation sessions? Just hang a Sex in Progress Light outside your door, fire it up whenever you're meat spelunking and no one will ever "accidentally" bother you again. And as our own Sean Fallon says, if there's ever a "Masturbation in Progress" sign, he'll let everyone know. [Baronbob via Nerd Approved]
sex
New SaSi Sex Toy Gets Intelligent With Your Nether Regions
Its about time someone started applying machine intelligence to good things rather than the seemingly evil: the new JeJoue SaSi "personal massager" comes with built-in motion playlists and also actually learns what its lady likes in the way of sub-knicker action. And occasionally, just for kicks, it rocks a bit of freestylin' to give you a surprise. Updated: NFSW demonstration video after the jump. More »
sex
Tomorrow's Masturbation Technology is Here, Today!
It may not compare to the fabled "Blowjob Machine," but naughty gadget maker Tenga has unveiled their "New Adult Concept" lineup of "onanism cups" that offer male users five "never before experienced sexual sensations." Choose from the Deep Throat Cup, Soft Tube Cup, Rolling Head Cup, Air Cushion Cup, and the invigorating Double Hole Cup. The devices are disposable, and Tenga stresses that you shouldn't be using them repeatedly by "rinsing them out." Ha Ha...gross! The devices are available now starting at 1500 yen ($14) —Japan only (sorry horny Westerners!). [Product Page via Digital World Tokyo via Wired]
Update: The device is available in the States. Horny Westerners rejoice! $18-$27 [US Product Page]
safe sex
