Bill, Call Me
I’m including this slide in the event that Bill actually gets around to reading this. With that in mind, what follows is for BILL’S EYES ONLY!!!!!!! DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU’RE BILL!!!!
Don’t you do it! I’ll know!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahem. Good. Now that we’re alone: Bill, honey. You need help—and not just with your dating profile.
You’ve been a documented creep toward women. Remember when you and Melinda started dating while you were her boss’s boss at Microsoft? What about the time you responded to a presentation one of your Microsoft employees put on by asking her to dinner immediately afterwards? Or what about the time you cornered a woman working for your foundation during a cocktail party to ask her on a date? And that’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to allegations against you.
You can work on your style and get some less problematic friends, but none of that matters unless you put some effort in. Shave your face, but also treat your female coworkers like coworkers and not like objects that exist exclusively to prove what a good dude you are.
And really, man, stop tucking in your shirt.
