9. PWCs
“Personal watercraft” (jet skis, water scooters) are the cocaine of boats: obnoxious, deadly, hard to defend purchasing. Oh, great, the jet ski people are here, they’ll say. Jet skis ruin the water. Jet skis can get as little as three miles per gallon, which means they burn fuel at about twice the rate of a tractor-trailer and twelve times that of a Honda Accord. There’s a name for the specific kind of potentially lethal anorectal/vaginal injury incurred when the high-pressure jets shoot water up and lacerate the rider’s insides. There’s a reason that there are no heroes associated with this shit boat.
