Here’s the perfect gift for the special someone in your life who can’t afford a Lamborghini, but likes to dress and accessorize like they can: a $2,450 “Alpha-One” premium smartphone.
Per the Verge, this ridiculous money-hole-posing-as-a-phone clocks in with “the most luxurious technology”—roughly similar specifications to a high-end smartphone that costs less than a third of the sticker price—as well as a “liquid metal” frame, “Italian handmade black leather” and the Tonino Lamborghini Raging Bull logo, which symbolizes “strength, courage, determination and boldness.”
It does come with a leather phone case and a cable, but no adapter, because lol.
Here’s the full feature set, per the Verge:
5.5-inch WQHD, 2560×1440, display
Qualcomm Snapdragon 820 processor
Android Nougat
4GB of RAM with 64GB of storage and up to 128GB of expandable storage
20-megapixel rear-facing camera and a 8-megapixel front-facing camera
3,250mAh battery
Dual SIM card support
Fingerprint scanner
Color me unimpressed. To pose as a real, live fake Lambo owner, you’re going to need an entirely different feature set. Here’s some suggestions:
Axe body spray dispenser
Photo gallery pre-loaded with pictures of your definitely real Lambo, which is in the shop, because you pushed it too hard, in an impromptu illegal street race, along uh the scenic Sicilian coast
App which reminds you to call your mom on laundry day
E-book of Neil Strauss’ The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
A wall adapter, since $2,450 apparently doesn’t buy you a wall adapter
What the hell kind of music do fake Lambo guys listen to? Is it DJ Pauly D? We’ll go with DJ Pauly D. The phone comes with DJ Pauly D
White House Communications Department parking pass
QR code which, when scanned, allows you to skip the line when you arrive in Hell
Enjoy, fellas!
