6. James Corden

The Late Late Show with James Corden was divisive generally among our judges. One of us (Brian) derives joy from the escapism of carpool karaoke. The other (Molly) would rather be forced to watch the Cats butthole cut Clockwork Orange-style.

Corden did not do carpool karaoke in a Tesla with guest Bill Gates where he asked him about Jeffrey Epstein in addition to his love of carbon capture, which was the first sign things were not going to go great. Instead, he used his opening monologue to tell viewers he wouldn’t “hammer you with scary stories.”

“Instead, we’re going to focus on some positive news stories about how people and companies are stepping up to confront this climate challenge,” he continued. Which immediately set off Earther’s local bullshit alarm.

We love solutions, of course, but Corden proceeded to spend the next five minutes talking about the individual choices band leader Reggie Watts and sidekick Ian Karmel have made. (Watts has low flow showerheads and invests in cobalt batteries. Karmel drives an old Prius. ) Then Corden talked about electric boats, how the show doesn’t have plastic bottles thanks to Watts, and an 11-year-old girl in Malaysia battling food waste. All great, sure. Not exactly the stuff of systemic change needed and only very loosely related to climate change.

Hot Burn: “They are completely green. Just when you thought Amsterdam couldn’t get more green.” (It should tell you how bad the monologue was that this is the best burn we could find.)

Cringe line: “What’s a little change you’re making to have an impact on climate change?”