Nokia's Deadly Phones

This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.

BREAKING FAKE NEWS: Gizmodo has gained access to a confidential letter from Nokia's Chief Executive Officer detailing how, in some cases (particularly if the user is especially gullible or easy suggestible), Nokia phones can release a burst of electromagnetic energy, causing heart failure, brain hemorrhaging, and in some cases Instant Death Syndrome. In the letter, CEO Jorma Ollila makes it clear that the problem is well know, and the "loss of life is an acceptable risk we must face in order to sell our products."


In a related note, I have gained the ability to make genitalia disappear using naught but the power of my mind. You'll know it's the truth because details of my powers have been printed on Gawker letterhead. (Thanks, Bob Pease!)
Look - Nokia Deathphone Bombshell [Gizmodo]
Read - Panic at Nigerian 'killer calls' [BBC]

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