Other witches
TikTok baby witches strafed hexes last year at their sworn nemeses Republicans and the moon. Now their curses have borne fruit: Joe Biden is president, and Elon Musk is sending noxious Doge energy to our celestial sister.
The takeaway from 2020 is that hexes work; 689 million people have been trained to hex; there is a 100% chance that everyone and everything in our hexable orbit has been hexed.
You will not escape inevitable misery, but you can perform a #eggcleanse for more information. Remove one (non-lethal) egg from the fridge, rub it all over your body, and crack it over a glass of water. If transparent spikes rise up from the egg to form points (presumably the chalazae, fibrous cords which anchor the yolk in the center of the whites), you will know that you have been cursed.
