What is the correct pluralization of octopus?

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The short answer is that "octopuses," "octopi," and "octopodes" are all fine (or so says Kory Stamper, an Associate Editor at Merriam-Webster).

But there's a longer answer, as well. One that involves a flow chart. And douche-canoes. Dear readers, I present to you The Darwin Eats Cake Guide to Pluralizing "Octopus," courtesy of my new favorite webcomic, Darwin Eats Cake:


I'm seriously considering printing out copies of this just to have on hand. You know, in the event of douche-canoery. [Darwin Eats Cake via John F. Wilkins via Deep Sea News]

Top photo by Mark Laita via Sea