Except for the daily thoughts of suicide and irreparable liver and lung damage, I've had a great time as editor of Gizmodo over the last year. But if I keep up on this schedule—no vacation, ridiculous hours, no sick days—I'm going to have to find something more substantial to suck the life out of than children. I've been looking for a full-time editor to help with the site, but haven't had much luck so far. I've been hesitant to post something on the site, because historically, along with a lot of quality submissions, it's also been an excuse for all the people who AIM me in the middle of day asking me if the "PSP cn ply moviez" to try to fool me into giving them free electronics to review. That said, I know out there among the readership is a person who knows gadgetry in specific and technology in general like the back of their hand, can write their way out of a paper bag, and is full of excitement about working for an editor who is increasingly fed up with the pointless tail-chasing and money-grubbing hypocrisy of the worldwide technology market and takes out his impotent internet rage on real-life subordinates.

If that sounds like an awesome time, I'll explain what you need to do after the jump.

Now first of all, if you live in New York City, you'll get a little preference, because as much as this is a work-from-home job, sometimes you just can't beat a face-to-face meeting. Plus, there are times when we have to actually peel ourselves out of our Office Max pleather chairs and head out to conduct interviews and the like and most of that sort of stuff seems to crop up in New York. That said, I'm happy to consider applications from anywhere else, as long as you can hold roughly similar, daytime working hours.

Resumes are mostly useless to me, so don't bother sending them. If you'd like to take a paragraph and introduce yourself and explain and pertinent working history, that's cool, but I don't need to know about your 4H experience or anything. What I do need are three story submissions, written in the 'Gawker style,' about relatively new products. What you're trying to show me is that you not only know about the technical merit of various gadgets, but can write in such a way that you'll fit in with the current tone of the site.

Based on previous experience trying to find someone to help with the site, let me make it clear that you're not doing yourself any favors trying to ape my style of writing. Seriously, you could do so much better. We don't (necessarily) need someone who can make retarded jokes in lieu of real information, especially when that's not their natural style of writing. A little dry is okay, if that's your personality, but never 'catalog speak.' We want a human voice, because otherwise what's the point?

Anyway, sit down and write up three stories and send them in (we don't plan on using any submissions as actual news, so if you want to rewrite something we've already covered, that's fine, although I'd prefer you wrote about something new so I could see what unexpected insight you might offer). We'll talk about details of pay and such as appropriate, but suffice it to say that it works out to be a decent full-time job anywhere besides New York, and a well-paying part time job otherwise.

Send submissions to apply@gizmodo.com, please, not the other addresses. If your three submissions stand out, we'll be in contact shortly, because I'd like to get someone brought on board quickly. Good luck!

Update: Please don't AIM me with questions! To clarify a few things that have come up, yes, this is a paying job. No, we aren't buying established sites along with their editors. Yes, we will consider submissions from outside the USA. Thanks!