Now appearing on Useless Piece of Shit lists all over the world is the Sahara Dry Ear. About as handy as an electric fork, this $100 ear dryer runs at what's called a comfortable temperature, apparently to evaporate various forms of watery detritus out of your outer ear canal. I guess a towel, piece of tissue or a Q-tip wouldn't work well enough...? Stick it far enough into your ear and it will blow your head up like a balloon. On the heels of this monumental announcement, now we see the results of a study from the January issue of Nature Genetics saying that the consistency of ear wax is genetically determined, and if you're from Asia, your ear jam is dry, but those of us from Africa or Europe have gooey ear cheese. So I guess Asians won't have much need for this thing unless they get their ears really waterlogged in the shower. Hey, maybe this Dry Ear thing will blow away most of that slime for the rest of us. Blow in my ear and I ll, I ll ...well, I'm not following the Dry Ear anywhere.
The Dry Ear [Red Ferret]