Chicago Police Using Scooters To Take Bites Out of Crime, Donuts

Ah, the police. They're here to ensure all citizens behave according to the established societal norms, making sure that everyone abide by the social contract into which they have entered. Oh, and now in Chicago they roll around on scooters.

Yes, those brave police officers in Chicago will be patrolling high-priority locations, as they already do at O'Hare and Midway airports, on top of these mobile justice administrators, also known as the Segway. The city's police department is spending somewhere in the neighborhood of $500,000 on the crime fighting machines, which supposedly enable officers to cover more ground while on the beat, coasting at an order-maintaing 12.5 miles per hour. Police officers also enjoy the benefits of being taller than the average person, allowing them to catch troublemakers and agitators quickly and efficiently.

Of course, Chicago isn't the only city to experiment with the Segway. Bomb squads in Ventura, Calif. and Little Rock use the motorized scooters to escort heroic officers laden with heavy protective equipment into and out of flash points, righteously protecting citizens in the process.

Chicago Cops Crack Heads, Ride Scooters [Defense Tech]