This digitized couch was designed by a UK'er and has the ability to tell when a girl is not interested in you. It may be apparent to everyone around you because of your wretched BO, bad teeth, ugliness, etc, but finally you will know when you are not wanted because the couch lights up blue patterns. Using electroluminescent technology and pressure sensors the couch will know where the two persons are sitting and if it is far apart the blue patterns will light up. Once the lady gets drunk enough to become attracted to you, the couch will switch to more passionate red patterns showing that the two persons are together, canoodling.

Couch Counseling [The Cool Hunter]