Danger Bomb Clock: Yet Another Obnoxious Alarm

If you'd rather be shaken and not stirred out of bed in the morning, the Danger Bomb Clock is for you. First it makes a loathsome noise that's supposed to mimic an explosion, and then you must unravel some sort of secret code (and just how that's done is not quite clear in its description) by pushing its buttons in a certain order just to make the thing stop honking at you. Check out this elegant prose:

You'll be shaked out of bed with explosion sound. To stop the bomb, you have to pull out just one code from 3. The safty code is set randomly every morning. So thrilling!
Now available for pre-order, it ships March 16 for $31. Just don't take this insufferable alarm clock to work with you, especially if you live in Boston. – Charlie White