We know you've been feeling guilty about your CD and DVD "backups". At first it seemed so innocent, just this one time you wouldn't make the trip to Blockbuster. But before you knew it, you were trapped at the center of a bootleg cartel, hiring goons to film shaky versions of Oscar candidates while you snorted coke off blank CD-Rs.
Before it's too late, purchase a $6 CD punch. You've already got your secluded fortress mansion and the gold-plated speed boat. Now destroy the "evidence" that you once listened to Cher...way back in 1999.