Giant Moron Surgically Trims Thumbs for Better iPhone Use

Thomas Martel surgically altered his thumbs with a new technique called "whittling" to better enable his naturally oversized digits to use his iPhone. The plastic surgeon made a small incision to each thumb, shaved down the bones, and even made some enhancements to his muscles and fingernails.

"Sure the proceedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years...that's priceless." Too bad it makes the big man's hands look "effeminate." I'm not sure I believe this story, but if it's real, I want photos of the tranny hands. UPDATE: Phil over at Apple 2.0 writes that this is a satire piece. Fine, I figured, but honestly, if they wanted to write satire, and not an internet myth, they probably should have gone over the top with the quotes. What they don't get is that with some Apple fans going far enough to get tattoos, this wasn't such an unbelievable jump. [NorthDenverNews]