Hello Kitty Toilet Paper Dispenser Advances Buttocks Tech

Other than the iPod dock toilet paper speaker we thoroughly tested, there hasn't been any real advancement in the area of ass wiping technology in the past few years. This Hello Kitty dispenser changes everything with its automated dispensing unit that lets you program exactly how many sheets you want for your next wipe—which may sound useful, but doesn't quite account for when you've got hard, rocky poops followed by soft, liquidy ones. But when you slap a Hello Kitty logo and an automated turning mechanism onto something, you're pretty much pounding on the Nobel Prize committee's collective door and asking for the cash. [Kitty Hell]