I've fallen and I can't.... ick.. I need to vacume under the bed...

i say just let survival of the fittest do its part.
thanks to old people i wont get any social security.
goddamn seniors.

When I read the title I thought this carpet had some sort of catapult that shot the seniors back onto their feet. Now I'm disappointed.

but wat if they jus happen to like laying on their carpet....oh

how would it be able to discern if they had fallen, or were just having sex on the floor?

Wouldn't it be cheaper and more effective to incorporate this gizmo into a pair of Depends?...

@The Sword Master: Same.
and @ Will: Oldies do not have sex.

Doh! Someone already jumped on the idea of grandma and grandpa moving from the bed to the floor. Imagine the dismay of the rescuers. Of course, maybe emergency services should be alerted to this kind of activity anyhow.

Enjoy the mental cringeworthiness, folks.

That lady doesn't look like she needs help, she's just wasted.

And it will determine that the new stationary object on the carpet isn't a new piece of furniture how?

this would be useless if they were to
1. have a heart attack laying in their bed/sitting in a chair
2. fall in the shower/bath/bathroom

LifeCall has a waterproof pendant and the ability to speak to the person to verify the issue (if not they phone the house and if no answer they send an ambulance)

they might aswell develop this for pediatrist (phone doctors) uses, not something as useless as this thing

@Gantz: Your Trusted Friend in Science.: i mean foot doctors!! i was talking to someone while typing...

podiatry, aswell

"just set it and...forget it"

shit-wrong infomercial

DNR has a new meaning: Do Not Resexutate...aka "stay the fuck away" (senior style)

there should seriously be a remote heartbeat monitor for seniors. if it's flatlined for more than 20 seconds than respond. otherwise; the boom boom boom is in progress and thus should be ignored

@discounteggroll: This may sound a bit morbid, but I had an idea for a defibrulator implant with a suicide option. If the user decides he doesn't want to continue on living, he/she can just flip a switch to turn up the juice and shock themselves to death.

Does reading too many blogs short circuit the creative brain! This is a (relatively)high resolution pressure grid that could be cheap enough to put into your whole house - think of the cool possibilities once those researchers start supplying APIs.

I'm sorry but if I can't get up on my own then let me die.
I'd just slow the rest of you down.

@strider_mt2k:My thoughts exactly.

They should also make "smart underwear" or "iDepends undergarments" It would sense any soilage and indicate ripeness via LED lights.

It would also play MP3s.

Jailbreak for better apps.

@tehblacksheep234: "Oldies do not have sex."

You just keep telling yourself that, buddy...

@tehblacksheep234: Speak for yourself: I can has seniur sex. I hope.

@tehblacksheep234:

They definitely do... although sometimes with disasterous results. I've worked in long term care for several years and could tell many great stories. Unfortunately HIPAA laws prevent me from doing so.

@GizFanAlpha: Thats actually a somewhat decent idea although a little creepy/possibly considered by some to be inhumain

@SWORDMASTER-I thought the exact same thing, I was hoping to see a video!

@GizFanAlpha: Shock? Not a painless lethal injection, but shock? Seniors writhing in pain before they die. Ns...

The red caption should read, "If only I wasn't shting when they took this picture."

They should be working harder on preventing the weakness that causes falls. My great grandma is 88, and can out walk our entire family. It's like she glides. Also she got hit by a car, and got up and walked home unharmed. Shes Haitian, so she eats allot of traditional Haitian foods. Could be why shes so health. Shes like super ggma, the only thing that scares her is snakes. Because shes had some bad encounters in Haiti. She sleeps with a machete under her bed, in nyc, just encase snakes come, :p. That's bad ass. You don't mess with grandma.

@xXCapto-ExsequorXx:
Damn. It's sad when your grandma is more bad-ass than me. (Sad for me, not her)

@The Sword Master: I was expecting the same thing.

All jokes aside but wouldn't some sorta watch like device with an accelerometer and a micro controller in it be able to perform the same function for a lot less?

@strider_mt2k: my feelings exactly

why not just make pants for seniors that are structurally reinforced and shaped like weeble-wobbles? they'd never fall. give one a good punch, they'll pop right back up.

@dave the wet sprocket:
all I could think of was that robotic skeleton Sigourney Weaver jumped in

@GizFanAlpha: What the hell are you talking about? You can't even spend your own money the way you want anymore. You think the GOV. is just gonna let you die when you want?

Oh and by the way, that lady is faking.

HA oh my gosh, I actually work with the lab at university of missouri that is making this! how wierd to see it on the giz!!!!

The overall goal is to have a system that is in place 24/7, doesn't require anything from the user. No pendant to forget to put on in the morning, no need to push a button, have it be automatic.

And someone was saying how can you tell the difference between falling and sex, well the floor vibrates and/or the pressure sensors pick up different vibrations. They would be at completely different frequencies and have totally different patterns, we've proven that already.

And as far as monitoring heart rate, we have a sensor that lays flat underneath the cover sheet on the bed that can pick up breathing rate, heart rate, and restlessness (when they roll over alot in the night).

GIZ WRITERS::;;::

Change the links to the following:
[eldertech.missouri.edu]
[eldertech.missouri.edu]

its hard to find from the main missouri.edu site. :) And thanks for the story!

@strider_mt2k:
"I'm sorry but if I can't get up on my own then let me die.
I'd just slow the rest of you down."

viagra.

You guys can laugh... but I'm not old (38) and I have bad knees...

Last week I was sitting cross-legged on my bed and dislocated my right knee.

Now, besides the excruciating pain, I'm left with the question "What do I do?"

My full charged cell phone is in my jacket pocket in the hall closet.

My cats, smart though they are, have mastered door knobs but have yet to comprehend dead bolt locks so sending them for help isn't a possibility.

So I did what any action movie star would do, I gritted my teeth (no stick within reach) and straightened my leg through all the cracking and popping noises.

It was the single most agonizing thing I've had to do to myself, but I live alone, there weren't any other options.

Seniors at my nursing home can not be restrained, so the new beds go very low, and on each side is a "landing strip" to cushion the fall. Of course, their pajamas are all wired to a loud buzzer. They fall a very short distance to a soft pad, the buzzer lets us know to go beat the living tar out of them, dork em out with 700mg thorazine, and slap the shit out of them. We can't restrain them, you know....

by the way, another really good use for this system is monitoring the senior BEFORE they fall, and even after. At the lab we're working on another easier to install sensor to accomplish the same thing, but we're trying to monitor the senior citizen's gait. If someone is limping a bit, they might be too bull headed or think its not important enough to bring up to the nurse, but the computer knows all and could even track changes in the condition over time (say a limp gets just a little worse every week, but the nurse who is with them every day can't see visually the differences).