It's not easy being a tape nowadays. Your only friends are all in jail, everyone inexplicably likes old-farty vinyl more than you, and now people are even using you to build furniture. This is not how it was supposed to go.

In your heyday, people rocked out to your not-so-dulcet tones, unwitting grunge parents produced little grunge babies to the soundtrack of your sweet hisses, and relationships and restraining orders alike were borne of compilations carefully mixed onto your glossy insides. Now you're silenced, screwed into the shape of a cabinet and put up for sale on the same "Internet" that did such horrible things to your children. Such is the way of the world, Tape. And let's be honest — as much as you don't want to hear it, this is the coolest you've looked in years. [CreativeBarn]

Send an email to John Herrman, the author of this post, at jherrman@gizmodo.com.