His feathers barely rustle when the wind blows, and his faux zebra hide jacket is matted with an intangible age that the dry cleaner just can't wash out.
Even his famed golden Zelda cartridge is tarnished. The word on the streets is that it's just plastic, but no one will say it to his face—a social courtesy sourced from pity, not fear.
After a brief time on top, the Pimptendo has seen the worst the world has to offer. He's a shabby, forgotten tool of another era. And now he's stooped to selling himself for $50. [ChaseTheChuckWagon via Gearfuse via HawtyMcBloggy via technabob]