This video, a vintage "introduction to the internet" from the early '90s or thereabouts, features the line "What's a webpage? Something ducks walk on?" If that doesn't convince you to watch this hilarious, mysteriously-filled-with-pixelated-porno masterpiece, I don't know what will.

I have preserved the lyrics of the opening song for posterity's sake:

On your mark, get set!
We're riding on the internet!
Cyberspace, set free, hello virtual reality!
Interactive appetite! Searchin' for a website!
A window to the world, got to get online!
Take a spin, now you're in with the techno-set!
You're goin' surfin' on the internet!

Elmore Leonard once said that a writer only gets ten exclamation points to use in his life, so he'd better use them wisely. I just used eight and I am 100% confident that it was the right decision. I love this video more than Steve Jobs loves turtlenecks. The world is a sunnier and happier place with this video in it. Enjoy your night. [Videogum]

Send an email to Dan Nosowitz, the author of this post, at dnosowitz@gizmodo.com.