American soccer star Clint Dempsey is injured, possibly through the World Cup. In our time of greatest need emerges: a crazy soccer ball-kicking machine from BP Castrol Japan.

The big guy will, it turns out, make an appearance in South Africa this summer, but only to show off its wares. But don't worry, American soccer fans! We've got plenty of time before then to get it naturalized. In the meantime, just watch it work, and be thankful no part of your body is defending against it on a free kick. [MSNBC via CrunchGear]