Blotto: Space Miner!

HOW GOOD IS SPACE MINER. The answer is INCREDIBLE GOOD. It's probably the best original game to hit the iPhone. Imagine Nintendo made Asteroids, adding a mild upgrade path on top of extremely gratifying space flyingabout. IT IS FIVE SPACE DOLLARS and worth every penny, but there is a "LITE" version that will give you ample time to gauge your own proclivity towards shooting rotating rocks and watching them explode. [iTunes]

* * *

CHIP BEG. This asshole LOVES CHIP BEGS. He has NO PROBLEM WITH THAT.

* * *

I THINK WE ALL KNOW that MUSHROOMS are probably from outer space. I don't mean that in a hippie-dippy way. I simply mean that they are probably alien organisms that, having propagated through the cosmos by ejecting spores into solar winds, are likely matrices that contain chemicals that allow us to interface with an anewtonian GALACTIC CONSCIOUSNESS. Failing that, they will probably let you enjoy The Dark Crystal in ways even JAMES HENSON did not anticipate.

HERE IS EVIDENCE OF THEIR STRANGE: If you inject lightning-grade electricity into a mushroom's substrate, they will double their growth. This is science. This is lightning. It is impossible for the two to meet and not engender DELICIOUS TRUTHS.

* * *

SONY REMOVES LINUX from the PLAYSTATION 3, causing literally two or three beardos to freak out.

* * *

Blotto: Space Miner!

* * *

file:///C:/WINDOWS/Media/onestop.mid

* * *

DO DRUGS, BE HAPPY says scientist. After fifty years of yackity sax drug enforcement, ACTUAL SCIENCE has used psilocybin, the psychoactive ingredient in PLANTS THAT GROW ON SHIT to treat depression. It appears especially effective in EASING THE TRAVAILS OF A CERTAIN DEATH, someone which, despite all claims to the contrary, is an experience that each of us will experience in our own HORRIBLE ALONENESS.

* * *

Blotto: Space Miner!

ANDY WARHOL X MEGAMAN. What a delight! [Flickr]

* * *

IN THE FUTURE all the coolest children will go to school with live ammo in their heads. In the meantime, this TRENDING TOPIC will remain the exclusive purview of soldiers who get paid to kill and be kill. Take that JUSTIN BIEBER. I lost the link to the story I meant to link but suffice it to say that some soldiers have LIVE AMMO IN THEIR HEADS.

* * *

HOW MANY TIMES do I have to tell you motherfuckers that AIR VIDEO is the best iPhone application yet applicated? Apparently AT LEAST A DOZEN TIMES. But here is the thing: The same $3 purchase will now net you an IPAD VERSION, giving you a reason to finally use the stupid big iPod touch in a way unlike that which actually you know I'm pretty much done typing.

* * *

DATELINE: A GIZMODO EDIT CHAT, in which our editors debate whether or not posting about HAN SOLO IN CARBONITE SOAP is too much Star Wars or not. Here is this editor's opinion: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME IT IS HAN SOLO SOAP FOR SIX BUCKS.

* * *

Blotto: Space Miner!