Coors Light Invents Cold Activation Window: Cancer Cured, World Peace EnsuesS

First, it was the wide-mouthed can. Then, it was a can that changed color when it was cold. Most beers, most companies, most icons, heck, most gods would've stopped by now. But Coors Light went and changed the world again.

They created a 12-pack case with a tiny opaque window that turns transparent in cool temperatures. Never be momentarily fooled by a couple of silver bullets too-recently placed into a supermarket's refrigeration unit. Know if they're cold before you even open the door.

Can you imagine if Mr. Coors Light had chosen any other path? If he were a doctor, we'd be able to watch our hearts beat during the winter months. If he were a lawyer, courtrooms would be set to forty degrees so that a witness on the stand would have an account so pure, so transparent, that we'd hear not words but truth.

No, instead, Mr. Coors Light has sacrificed himself purely to servicing a very specific sect of the beer community, one so ready to shotgun a brewski that their nerves cannot fire a physical sense of cold to their brain before any beer in visual proximity is halfway down their gullet.

Thank-you, Coors Light. We don't say it enough. [beernews]