What Kind of Burglar Hides a Mouse Up His Ass?

This kind.

We're still speculating about exactly why Noah Smith, the fellow in this photo, decided to stop in the middle of a burglary, strip off his clothes, sit on a bed, and jam a computer mouse up his own bum. What we do know right now is that he was likely under the influence of mushrooms and put up quite a fight when police officers tried to subdue him.

We also know that he was taken to a hospital and X-rayed after someone noticed a cord—which was oddly misspelled as could in the police report—dangling from his rear. [The Smoking Gun via Jezebel]