Idiot Vigilante Umpire Hunts Down and Beats Up Falsely Accused iPhone Thief

When New Jersey little league umpire Carl Ippolito couldn't find his iPhone, he did the completely reasonable thing: went into a rage, used Find My iPhone, and started personally tracking someone who he assumed had robbed him. Didn't end well!

While Ippolito was on his iPhone warpath, he passed another man—Brent Johnson—who happened to be talking on an iPhone. Using his supreme powers of deduction, he assumed this man was talking on his iPhone, and proceeded to pummel him with punches until he was arrested. But hey, at least he got his phone back!

Oh wait, no, he'd left it at the little league field's "snack shack" all along, because he is a dumbass. Way to strike out, Carl! That was a bad call! What a foul move! You'll probably be charged with assault and bat-tery! It took a lot of balls to attack a total stranger by surprise! [Today, Photo by Shutterstock/Condor 36]

Note: above photo not of Carl Ippolito. Just someone dressed as an umpire. Probably a very nice guy, and has never attacked anyone.