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Every Teacher’s Worst Nightmare: The Deadly Pencil Launcher Is Real

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Slingshot guru Joerg Sprave seems set on making the innocent-yet-violent daydreams of our youth into wait-this-can-actually-kill-people reality. Last week it was a famous anime slingshot-spear. This week it’s the platonic ideal of the haphazard pencil-flingers every fifth grade boy in America has stashed under his desk.

The pump-action “Nerd Revenge 2000” holds 10 pencils, and launches them at almost 100 miles per hour. Which, uh, what? As usual, it’s genius and juvenile and dangerous and incredibly wonderful and please don’t make this and kill someone and sue Joerg.

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