Jeremy Lin Gets His Own Weed, The President of Israel Wants to Be Friends, and Penguins Make an Adorable Break for Freedom

Roll that spliff phatly, pack some fresh ice into the binger, and set the Volcano to "toastify." It's time for tonight's Stoner Channel. We've collected our best high-times material for the discerning pothead so sit back, relax, and pass that shit on the left, yo.

Tonight's nug of Purp Dawg comes to us from reader Kelton at the San Diego Farmacy

Click here for more hits from the bong.

Jeremy Lin Gets His Own Weed, The President of Israel Wants to Be Friends, and Penguins Make an Adorable Break for Freedom

Rick Ross Has Discovered A Strain Of Marijuana Named For Jeremy Lin

I bet New York wishes it had more progressive drug laws now. And $60.

Cobwebs - Cyriak Harris

See? It's like I've been saying for years—spiders invented the Internet.

I Have Had It with These Motherfucking Penguins on This Motherfucking Plane!

According to YouTube poster JAWorthingtonRoth, "On our Delta Flight 1641 from San Antonio to Atlanta on March 8th, there were two 'special guests' flying in First Class, a couple of penguins (I think their names were Pete & Penny) from Sea World." What, they're too good for the cargo hold like the rest of the animals? It's not even Delta, so there's like a solid 50-50 chance they won't die in transit.

Below is a live look into the penguin enclosure at Sea World San Diego. I never realized that penguins were so loud. And sedentary. Can't we toss some Leopard Seals in there for a bit of excitement?

President Shimon Peres - Be My Friend For Peace (Noy Alooshe Remix Video)

What do you get when you overlay pumping Eurodance beats atop President Shimon Peres' requests to be your friend? 2:31 of pure, unadulterated awesome. Now this is how you announce that you've finally gotten a Facebook page—are you listening, Pope?

After Eating One of the World's Hottest Peppers, You Will Hallucinate and Say Crazy Shit

Remind me how these are legal again? They're like 'shrooms sans the fun.

Beavis and Butthead Do Peyote

Bullshit weed's a gateway drug. Watch this scene from Beavis and Butthead Do America and tell me it doesn't make you want to trip balls.

These Workers Trying to Stop a Crazy Machine Are Hilariously Ineffective

No video in the history of the universe has deserved to be put to Benny Hill's theme music more than one featuring eleven guys trying to catch a cement Zamboni.

Jeremy Lin Gets His Own Weed, The President of Israel Wants to Be Friends, and Penguins Make an Adorable Break for Freedom

Are You a Green Gardener?

Care to show off your handiwork to the Internets? If so, we want pics of your best buds, your highest-tech setups, and your bushiest bushes. Send images—960x540 minimum but we prefer 1600x900—of your legal stashes (no High Times ripoffs please) to atarantola at Gizmodo.com and we'll feature the best at the top each night's Stoner Channel. Put "The Stoner Channel" in the subject line while you're at it.

And no, for the last time, we aren't interested in seeing your wicked meth lab setup Jerry. Stop it or we're calling the fuzz.

Image: Curtis Barnard / Shutterstock