Apple Announces Mysterious Conference Call to Tell What They Will Do With All Their Billions Tomorrow

This is strange. Apple's CEO Tim Cook and Apple's CFO Peter Oppenheimer will host a special conference tomorrow. The topic: "the outcome of the Company's discussions concerning its cash balance." That's $100,000 million in cash, people. They can buy bloody Walmart.

They say they "will not be providing an update on the current quarter nor will any topics be discussed other than cash." So what would they be announcing? What could Apple do with all that money? Perhaps some acquisition? New investments? Buy every single phone manufacturer in the planet? (They can!) Or maybe something as mundane as giving some dividends to the shareholders? Or perhaps a fund to help poor people with Android phones?

My money is on a $90,000 million project to clone Steve Jobs and develop growth acceleration and brain information download technologies.

We will tell you about it tomorrow at 9am, New York time. In the meantime, you can tell us what you think in the comments. [Apple]