We've already told you how impossible it is to win the Mega Millions lottery, but if you still want to buy it, that's fine! We support every Joe Everyperson out there having a little fun and possibly winning some money. But you people that are already rich? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? STOP IT. JUST STOP IT.
And most of all, stop bragging about it.
We get it. $640 million dollars is a huge chunk of change for any person not named Bill Gates. But if you're already sitting on millions, how many more millions do you really need? Hey look, I won the lottery and my net worth didn't even add a zero. Oh I guess I can finally buy that yacht I already bought last week. Maybe I'll treat myself to a nice dinner at a restaurant that already treats me like a VIP. What's the point! You don't need more money! Life is good. You worked hard. You already won, let's not run up the score, yeah? Here are some of the worst offenders.
Nick Jonas, Singer
According to a gossip blog, Nick Jonas—who a quick Google search tells me is the most talented Jonas broham sandwich—was spotted buying a ticket in Manhattan earlier today. Nick, I've never listened to any of your songs but I'm sure you've had and will continue to have a financially prosperous career. Look at Justin Timberlake or... wait is JT the only boy band member to stay successful?
Matt Kemp, Baseball Player
I'm giving you a pass because you're the best player on my favorite baseball team but you just signed a $160 million contract, you got rid of Frank McShitty Owner and replaced him with Magic, you dated Rihanna and she calls you 'Rude Boy' and you're the best baseball player in the world. Your hard work will continue to pay gabillions. Please don't tweet pictures of yourself with dozens and dozens of lotto tickets that someone like me could really use.
Rob Dyrdek, Celebrity
I like you Rob Dyrdek. You did it your way. You're a deity in the skateboarding world, Rob & Big was hilarious and HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR OWN FANTASY FACTORY. There's no need to spend $700 on lottery tickets like TMZ said you did. You don't need another TV show, the one you have is awesome enough!
Chris Singleton, Basketball Player
He's a rookie basketball player for the Washington Wizards who just spent $10,000 on Mega Millions tickets. Singleton isn't NBA ball-so-hard rich but he's still definitely normal-person rich (a million dollar salary). Also: $10,000!
Damon Lindelof, Co-Creator of Lost
It's totally cool if you win the lottery if you spend all those millions shooting an ending for Lost that actually made some damn sense. Points for only buying one ticket and using 'the numbers' though.
Trey Songz, Singer
Trey, you seem like a good dude. Why make people hate you for winning the lottery when you can make everyone love you with your music?
If you see any other celebrities or rich people buying lottery tickets e-mail me and I'll update this list