Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld missed a huge opportunity this week by releasing a card-game iPhone app that isn’t called “Rummy’s Gin Rummy.” Instead, his app is called “Churchill Solitaire.” But...I LOVE IT!

If the name didn’t tip you off, it’s a Winston Churchill-themed Solitaire game. Rumsfeld created it working with his former aid, Keith Urbahn, who now works at a media agency called Javelin.

Apparently the British Bulldog enjoyed unwinding after a long day of a more complicated version of Solitaire involving two decks and special row of cards called “The Devil’s Six.”

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The app has different levels based on Churchill’s professional progress, and if you beat it, you get to be Prime Minister. I couldn’t make it past the “Sandhurst Cadet” level because even in the world of freemium games helmed by war criminals, I’m not meant for a career in politics.

I expected to hate this game but I cannot lie to you: I don’t even understand the rules and I had a great time tapping on those little cards and pretending I was an alcoholic racist unwinding after a hard day delivering excellent anti-Nazi speeches. It has a snazzy World War II-themed intro that almost made me forget it was a game conceived by an 83-year-old retired torture advocate.

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“Churchill Solitaire” is nothing more than a nice Solitaire card game, and I’m sure there are dozens of similar apps available. However, it is Donald Rumsfeld’s best contribution to society and I’m glad he’s turning things around. I eagerly await Dick Cheney’s upcoming iPhone game, Duck Hunter Hunt.*

*Does not exist.

[Buzzfeed]

Image: Churchill Solitaire