Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld missed a huge opportunity this week by releasing a card-game iPhone app that isn’t called “Rummy’s Gin Rummy.” Instead, his app is called “Churchill Solitaire.” But...I LOVE IT!
Apparently the British Bulldog enjoyed unwinding after a long day of a more complicated version of Solitaire involving two decks and special row of cards called “The Devil’s Six.”
The app has different levels based on Churchill’s professional progress, and if you beat it, you get to be Prime Minister. I couldn’t make it past the “Sandhurst Cadet” level because even in the world of freemium games helmed by war criminals, I’m not meant for a career in politics.
I expected to hate this game but I cannot lie to you: I don’t even understand the rules and I had a great time tapping on those little cards and pretending I was an alcoholic racist unwinding after a hard day delivering excellent anti-Nazi speeches. It has a snazzy World War II-themed intro that almost made me forget it was a game conceived by an 83-year-old retired torture advocate.
“Churchill Solitaire” is nothing more than a nice Solitaire card game, and I’m sure there are dozens of similar apps available. However, it is Donald Rumsfeld’s best contribution to society and I’m glad he’s turning things around. I eagerly await Dick Cheney’s upcoming iPhone game, Duck Hunter Hunt.*
*Does not exist.
Image: Churchill Solitaire