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New York, 5:37 PM
Sun Nov 15
16 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #onion more →

    Moon Conspiracy Theorist Makes Neil Armstrong Realize Obvious Truth

    Lifehacker's Top 10 Instructional Cooking Videos

    Google Offers Users Total Privacy (In an Airless, Deadly Mountain Prison)

    The Onion Bashes New Star Trek Movie for Being 'Fun, Watchable'

    So Mean But Maybe True (NSFW)

    Onion News Network: Apple's MacBook Wheel

    Ultimate Portable Sewing Machine to Make Clothing Companies Margins Increase

    "Blockbuster" Living History Museum Offers Insight Into the Past

    iPhone to Feature Unlimited Movie Downloads, 37-Foot Screen

    Iron Man Trailer to Be Extended Into Full Feature, Sources Say
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Identity (Metric) Identity (Metric)
    09/01/09

    In reply to Moon Conspiracy Theorist Makes Neil Armstrong Realize Obvious Truth
    I read this last night on the Onion and it was hilarious. Thanks for sharing it to those who haven't!

    I am in a very pleasant mood today.
     Reply
    Identity (Metric) was starred Identity (Metric) was unstarred
    Image of dry-roasted-peanuts dry-roasted-peanuts
    09/01/09

    In reply to Moon Conspiracy Theorist Makes Neil Armstrong Realize Obvious Truth
    Good, glad that's out of the way. Now how about we get the truth about there actually being no moon. That's right people.

    There is no moon.

    The Reptoids are just hoaxing us into believing that space exists so we don't go exploring their secret lairs under the earth.
     Reply
    dry-roasted-peanuts was starred dry-roasted-peanuts was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee
    09/01/09

    @dry-roasted-peanuts: Show your proof! [www.revisionism.nl]
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee was starred GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee was unstarred
    Image of dry-roasted-peanuts dry-roasted-peanuts
    09/01/09

    @GitEmSteveDave_WonAForeignLottery!: ... at least my crackpot theory has Reptoids in it and assumes the earth is hollow...
     Reply
    dry-roasted-peanuts was starred dry-roasted-peanuts was unstarred
    Image of Andre Ondre Andre Ondre
    08/31/09

    In reply to Moon Conspiracy Theorist Makes Neil Armstrong Realize Obvious Truth
    Well Ive been saying for a long time that the moon landings were Fake, to honestly think we can land man on moon in 1969 with computers as powerful as standard digital watches, and yet in 2000's we cant land a man on moon despite having better technology and computers
     Reply
    Andre Ondre was starred Andre Ondre was unstarred
    Image of RT100 RT100
    08/31/09

    @Andre Ondre: have you ever heard of the onio, good sir?

    edit: i mean to call you a fool
     Reply
    Jesus Diaz promoted this comment Edited by RT100 at 08/31/09 11:47 PM RT100 was starred RT100 was unstarred
    Image of ArtisticThought ArtisticThought
    09/01/09

    @Andre Ondre: Wait, people actually believe that? We've landed on asteroids and mars, not to mention the moons of other planets, good sir. NASA simply hasn't had the funds or initiative to land on the moon over the last few decades until recently.
     Reply
    Jesus Diaz promoted this comment ArtisticThought was starred ArtisticThought was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee
    09/01/09

    @Andre Ondre: Honestly, what idiot believes the moon actually exists? YOU SIR, and I use that term loosely, are part of the conspiracy. Hopefully someone will unplug you someday, and you will wake up from your pod. [www.revisionism.nl]
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee was starred GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee was unstarred
    Image of Lester Dean Lester Dean
    08/31/09

    In reply to Moon Conspiracy Theorist Makes Neil Armstrong Realize Obvious Truth
    Yes this is funny! But there are effin retards who will take it as serious as the conspiracy so we should all die a little inside still...
     Reply
    Jesus Diaz promoted this comment Lester Dean was starred Lester Dean was unstarred
    Image of I Think We're Property I Think We're Property
    08/31/09

    In reply to Moon Conspiracy Theorist Makes Neil Armstrong Realize Obvious Truth
    One of the things that I tend to question about these moon-hoax theories is how they explain the rocks. Its usually something they gloss over. Did they get a whole bunch of geologists to lie about the rocks and soil samples they examined, which were reported to be subtly unique in composition to anything on earth? Did NASA somehow manufacture or otherwise fabricate fake moon rocks and soil using obscure techniques that wouldn't occur to geologists? Did they send up an unmanned probe, collect some samples, bring them back, and then shove them into the 'reentry' capsule before airdropping it in the ocean? And speaking of probes, was it with stealth probes launched during the fake "manned" launches that they placed the mirrors and other assorted bits of ground-observable evidence for the landings? All I tend to hear are "photo inconsistencies" and "soundstage in New Mexico". Occasionally "Van Allen radiation belt", too, for variety.
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_HasAFrenchLoaf promoted this comment I Think We're Property was starred I Think We're Property was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee
    09/01/09

    @I Think We're Property: Supposedly Verner Von Braun was up on the North Pole collecting Moon Meteorites to use as moon rocks to further the conspiracy. Which proves it's not true, as the moon doesn't exist. The moon is a lie. [www.revisionism.nl]
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee was starred GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee was unstarred
    Image of Bigbadbikernerd Bigbadbikernerd
    08/31/09

    In reply to Moon Conspiracy Theorist Makes Neil Armstrong Realize Obvious Truth
    Finally! We can now go back to believing the moon is made out of cheese.

    It is made out of cheese you know...the squirrels told me. Now the little bastards are after me. They watch you though the remote sensor on your T.V., so make sure that you rip yours out...

    Oh shit...I think they know I'm writing this...........
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_HasAFrenchLoaf promoted this comment Bigbadbikernerd was starred Bigbadbikernerd was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee
    09/01/09

    @Bigbadbikernerd: Idiot. Everyone knows the moon is a hoax. It doesn't exist. Who lets gullible people like you in the Internets?

    [www.revisionism.nl]
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee was starred GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee was unstarred
    Image of WB WB
    08/29/09

    In reply to Lifehacker's Top 10 Instructional Cooking Videos
    That's not scrambled eggs, that's an egg sauce.
     Reply
    Chimaera promoted this comment WB was starred WB was unstarred
    Image of Chimaera Chimaera
    08/30/09

    @WB: Yeah, that was a topic in the original LH post. These are apparently a French style scramble.

    Personally, I stick with a variation on the Alton Brown method.

    Gawker's stripping the time link. Scrambling action @ 1m11s.
    [www.youtube.com]
     Reply
    Edited by Chimaera at 08/30/09 11:03 AM Chimaera was starred Chimaera was unstarred
    Image of GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee
    08/29/09

    In reply to Lifehacker's Top 10 Instructional Cooking Videos
    No Alton video on how he does a mango? The mango part starts at around 2:00, including why you should wash them!
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee was starred GitEmSteveDave_HurtHisKnee was unstarred
    Image of atlasfugged atlasfugged
    08/29/09

    @GitEmSteveDave_IndustrialStrengthLasagna: Take it from a regular mango consumer: This is the best and, in my opinion, only way a mango should be cut. (People, do not pay attention to the method shown above). Also, Alton didn't mention it explicitly but, like all fruit, smell to determine ripeness. Ripe mangoes give off a strong fragrance when ripe. Mangoes are delicious, versatile and super-healthy. If you can get a few good ones at the supermarket or asian food store or wherever, and they are not too expensive, do yourself a favor and buy a few.
     Reply
    GitEmSteveDave_IndustrialStrengthLasagna promoted this comment atlasfugged was starred atlasfugged was unstarred
    Image of Bokusatsu_Tenshi Bokusatsu_Tenshi
    08/12/09

    In reply to Google Offers Users Total Privacy (In an Airless, Deadly Mountain Prison)
    I see... so GOOGLE is "Those we don't speak of"
     Reply
    Bokusatsu_Tenshi was starred Bokusatsu_Tenshi was unstarred
    Image of phunnyballs phunnyballs
    08/11/09

    In reply to Google Offers Users Total Privacy (In an Airless, Deadly Mountain Prison)
    Why does anyone care? I mean google doesnt actually know who you are, you are just a number to them. I dont really see the big deal is. I mean who at Google would really care what YOU, one out of millions that use their service are doing or how you feel? They just use information to get over reaching trends in data. It is basically the same thing if I owned a store such as Target. I have cameras every where and I can track where customers are going and what their buying habits are (tracked from their CC#). Do I care if I see somebody buy hemorrhoid cream, a box of condoms and vasaline? no, because i dont know them, all I see is a number.
    hell when you buy anything at any store you are giving away information you thought was personal. If you buy a porno at the local video store, the person checking you out saw you buy the porno but you think nothing of it because they get lots and lots of customers and so you are just one of many.
     Reply
    deanbmmv ([k]) promoted this comment phunnyballs was starred phunnyballs was unstarred
    Image of 92BuickLeSabre 92BuickLeSabre
    08/11/09

    @phunnyballs: But I have a star!
     Reply
    92BuickLeSabre was starred 92BuickLeSabre was unstarred
    Image of AmphetamineCrown AmphetamineCrown
    08/11/09

    @phunnyballs: Perhaps because if someone wanted Google to put your name to your trends, I doubt very much if they would think twice before handing you over. Look at their spotless record in China.
    .
    They are a business. They are going to use their data to their advantage, not yours. To the extent those goals happen to coincide, fine. To the extent the goals diverge, you lose.
     Reply
    AmphetamineCrown was starred AmphetamineCrown was unstarred
    Image of Californian Californian
    08/11/09

    @phunnyballs:
    Thank you! Perfectly stated, sir.
    @AmphetamineCrown:
    No, they most certainly wouldn't. You know why? Exactly *because* they are a business. If they ever did that, people would immediately stop using it.
     Reply
    Californian was starred Californian was unstarred
    Image of JohnnySaber JohnnySaber
    08/12/09

    @Californian: Exactly. I always hate it when people have this "evil corporation" vision of life. So far, Google's been very successful at what it does. But success is a fickle friend. The best way to lose all that? Start selling out your customers. The way news spreads these days is insane. People would just flock to the next best thing, leaving Google a bitter, burnt-out husk of a company -- like all the other "evil" corporations that actually thought the best way to make a buck is to steal it.
     Reply
    AmphetamineCrown promoted this comment JohnnySaber was starred JohnnySaber was unstarred
    Image of AmphetamineCrown AmphetamineCrown
    08/12/09

    @JohnnySaber: @Californian: You guys are either joking or naive pre-teens. Google self-censors itself in China at the request of the Chinese government. Google's cookies originally persisted until 2038. There are a great number of people that have serious privacy concerns about both search data and Google mail.
    .
    Google has fantastic PR and has managed to delude a whole bunch of people into thinking that it is acting in their interest. Bull. Google is about making money. If they get a subpoena, you better believe they are handing your search results over to the FBI.
    .
    And, your view of modern corporations is charming. Did people stop using AT&T after issues were raised about warrantless taps? Did people stop using AOL after they made everyone's search results public? Get real.
     Reply
    AmphetamineCrown was starred AmphetamineCrown was unstarred
    Image of nhowar02 nhowar02
    08/11/09

    In reply to Google Offers Users Total Privacy (In an Airless, Deadly Mountain Prison)
    wheres the opt out button? is it on the regular home page because i cant find it, if someone does can you sent me the url?
     Reply
    92BuickLeSabre approved this comment nhowar02 was starred nhowar02 was unstarred
    Image of rusty rusty
    08/11/09

    @nhowar02:
    [www.google.com]
    lol there it is.
     Reply
    Margatron promoted this comment rusty was starred rusty was unstarred
    Image of Margatron Margatron
    08/12/09

    @rusty: OMG I thought the Onion was joking! lol I can't believe there's actually a real opt out button! And an extensive privacy article to boot.
     Reply
    Margatron was starred Margatron was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    05/05/09

    In reply to The Onion Bashes New Star Trek Movie for Being 'Fun, Watchable'
    "Two out of shape guys, in bad makeup, fighting awkwardly."


    I LOL'd..

     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
    Image of Jim Topoleski Jim Topoleski
    05/05/09

    In reply to The Onion Bashes New Star Trek Movie for Being 'Fun, Watchable'
    The sad part is, go to any Trek thread on IO9... and they are there, whining away.
     Reply
    Jim Topoleski was starred Jim Topoleski was unstarred
    Image of 92BuickLeSabre 92BuickLeSabre
    05/05/09

    @Jim Topoleski: Um. No they're not.
     Reply
    92BuickLeSabre was starred 92BuickLeSabre was unstarred
    Image of Jim Topoleski Jim Topoleski
    05/05/09

    @92BuickLeSabre: um yes they are, and I have gotten into more than one argument with people who have never seen the movie but seen the commercials and said "this is not trek!" simply because it curves things to a alternate universe not that its anything new in Trek.


    @MosesMonster: And thats assuming its not in the movie. From at least half the reviews I have seen on Rotten Tomato and on Trekmovie and TrekBBS (two die hard trek sites) everyone comments on how the action portion is only a small part of the movie, and the bonding of the crew and in particular Kirk and Spock are what is central to the plot.


    But even if we where to go that route of action and adventure not being trek, that pretty much kills every movie since TMP, since that was the only movie to actually embody the exploring the unknown and seeking out new life motto of trek along with the human aspects of Kirk Spock and McCoy getting back together after years apart.


    And everyone (except a handful of people including me) HATES that movie, some even more than the abomination that was V. I believe Slowmotion Picture is the affectionate title among Trek geeks.

     Reply
    Jim Topoleski was starred Jim Topoleski was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    05/05/09

    @92BuickLeSabre: I'm going to take your word for it. You're Gizmodo's brand ambassador.
     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of MegaZone MegaZone
    05/06/09

    @Jim Topoleski: I generally refer to TMP as "Star Trek: The Motionless Picture - Boldly Going Where Nomad Has Gone Before." But it isn't really a *bad* movie, just kind of slow - especially the video release with footage added back in.


    Similarly - "Highlander 2: The Sickening - There Should Have Been Only One."

     Reply
    MegaZone was starred MegaZone was unstarred
    Image of B1663R B1663R
    05/05/09

    In reply to The Onion Bashes New Star Trek Movie for Being 'Fun, Watchable'
    that's it I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to paramount.


    how dare they "relaunch" the franchise and have no boring bits on alien diplomacy.


    THE PRIME DIRECTIVE IS THERE FOR A REASON!!!! i don't want some hot shot kid being Kirk, I WANT GOOD OLD BILL SHATNER!!


    /sarcasm


    i am soooooooo seeing this!!!!!!

     Reply
    B1663R was starred B1663R was unstarred
    Image of Jrsy Devil's Advocate® Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
    02/09/09

    In reply to So Mean But Maybe True (NSFW)
    Nice. Did Ponies write that??
     Reply
    Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was starred Jrsy Devil's Advocate® was unstarred
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