President-elect Donald Trump in the lobby of Trump Tower (Getty Images)

Donald Trump will be sworn in as President of the United States on January 20th! And if you plan to attend the festivities in Washington DC you should be aware of some ground rules. Rule number one: No explosives.

The transition team has drawn up a list of banned items. For instance, you can’t bring drones, selfie sticks, or guns. Which all sounds a bit like 1984, if you ask me. I thought Trump was supposed to be the candidate of freedom. More like the candidate of taking our guns away, amirite?

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At least it looks like vapes aren’t included on the verboten list. Which should make Grover Norquist pretty happy. And it makes sense to ban bicycles, since only granola-gulping, latte-sipping pinkos ride bikes. But why does Trump gotta take away all our fun toys like selfie sticks and firearms?

Below is the complete list of things that are banned from the inauguration ceremony. Again, leave your drones at home.

  • Aerosols
  • Ammunition
  • Animals other than service/guide animals
  • Backpacks and bags exceeding size restrictions (18” by 13” by 7”)
  • Bicycles
  • Balloons
  • Coolers
  • Drones and other unmanned aircraft systems
  • Explosives
  • Firearms
  • Glass, thermal, or metal containers
  • Laser pointers
  • Mace / Pepper spray
  • Packages
  • Selfie Sticks
  • Signs exceeding the size restrictions (20” x 3” x 1/4”)
  • Structures
  • Supports for signs and placards
  • Toy guns
  • Weapons of any kind
  • Any other items determined to be potential safety hazards

And of course they close out the list with: “Any other items determined to be potential safety hazards.” Typical liberal fascist nonsense keeping us from enjoying our freedom on the greatest day of the year—the day that Donald Trump becomes president.