This freshly-unearthed 1903 patent entitled "Method of Preserving the Dead" suggests storing our corpses and disembodied heads in blocks of glass, creating the most unsettling yet kind-of-awesome paperweights ever. Why didn't this ever take off? "Yeah, go grab me my shoes. They're sitting next to my dead grandmother posed like she's flexing and wearing a Viking helmet in the 500-pound block of glass. Thanks, dude." [Google Patent via Neatorama]