Doctor El
Playmates exec #1: What fun animal haven’t we made a mutant of yet?
Playmates exec #2: Plenty, sir. There are dogs and cats—
Playmates exec #1: No, those are pets. Pets are boring. We need something familiar, but a bit different.
Playmates exec #2: Hmm… like an elephant?
Playmates exec #1: Yes! Exactly! Now, what’s the theme? What are elephants associated with?
Playmates exec #2: Trunks?
Playmates exec #1: So what, like he’s going to wear swimming trunks? Try again.
Playmates exec #2: Tus—
Playmates exec #1: Don’t you dare say tusks.
Playmates exec #2: (coughs) …they live in Africa?
Playmates exec #1: Okay. There’s something there.
Playmates exec #2: I’m pretty confident every way we go from here will end up being some level of racist.
Playmates exec #1: Not… not if he’s an African native! Like a Zulu warrior or something?
Playmates exec #2: Definitely too racist.
Playmates exec #1: But Safari Mike and the natives were OK.
Playmates exec #2: First, that was on the packaging, not the figure itself. Second, I told you that was racist, too. I tried to block the production. Remember?
Playmates exec #1: I’ve got it! He’s a witch doctor!
Playmates exec #2: Christ. I can’t take this anymore. I quit.
