Holy crap, Apple made a lot of money this quarter: $9.6 billion in revenues for $1.58 billion in profits. Or, in English, the most bank ever in Apple history. But it wasn't enough to appease Wall Street's insatiable hunger for green, 'cause the stock is bombing out in after-hours trading.) Contributing to that massive pile of loot were 2.3 million Macs, 22.1 million iPods and 2.3 million iPhones—just in the last three months, all of which broke past records. We're in the conference call that's supposed to start um, now, so we'll be updating as it rolls with anything juicy.

iPod's share for MP3 players is the same as last year—not outpacing the competition in growth despite branching out with multiple lines of iPod, in other words. Also interesting, 57 percent of customers buying Macs this quarter were new to Mac, so Justin Long is apparently appealing to someone. Questions now.

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•Effect of iPhone rebate redemptions: "Customers really appreciated it...The [financial] impact of that at this point is largely behind us."

•"We view the iPod market as bigger than the market for just simple music players," it's why they developed the iPod touch. They want iPod to be "the first mainstream Wi-Fi mobile music platform."

•Objective with iTunes movie rentals is to "run it a little above break even." They still view it as helping them sell more iPods and Macs.

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•Surprise! Contract terms with carriers still aren't up for discussion. Note to self: Slap the dude who asked.

•Don't ask about the 3G iPhone either! Bad analyst. No future product talk.

And that's it.

Best Quarterly Revenue & Earnings in Apple History
Mac, iPod & iPhone Sales Break Previous Records

CUPERTINO, California—January 22, 2008—Apple® today announced financial results for its fiscal 2008 first quarter ended December 29, 2007. The Company posted revenue of $9.6 billion and net quarterly profit of $1.58 billion, or $1.76 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $7.1 billion and net quarterly profit of $1 billion, or $1.14 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. Gross margin was 34.7 percent, up from 31.2 percent in the year-ago quarter. International sales accounted for 45 percent of the quarter's revenue.

Apple shipped 2,319,000 Macintosh® computers, representing 44 percent unit growth and 47 percent revenue growth over the year-ago quarter. The Company sold 22,121,000 iPods during the quarter, representing five percent unit growth and 17 percent revenue growth over the year-ago quarter. Quarterly iPhone™ sales were 2,315,000.

"We're thrilled to report our best quarter ever, with the highest revenue and earnings in Apple's history," said Steve Jobs, Apple's CEO. "We have an incredibly strong new product pipeline for 2008, starting with MacBook Air, Mac Pro and iTunes Movie Rentals in the first two weeks."

"Apple's revenue grew 35 percent year-over-year to $9.6 billion, an increase of almost $2.5 billion over the previous December quarter's record-breaking results," said Peter Oppenheimer, Apple's CFO. "Our strong results produced cash flow from operations of over $2.7 billion during the quarter, yielding an ending cash balance of over $18.4 billion. Looking ahead to the second quarter of fiscal 2008, we expect revenue of about $6.8 billion and earnings per diluted share of about $.94."

[Apple]