Despite the metal hand clamps and menacing posture, this black leather monstrosity is not the future of torture technology. What you are looking at is top-of-the-line Japanese massage chair engineering. Family Co’s FMC-5000 “Medical Chair Family Robo” is a massage chair, armed to the teeth with enough strategically placed rollers, air-bags, and vibrating paddles to beat you into a relaxed pulp. Each, of the 8 courses (of abuse), can be activated by voice command via the side-mounted microphone. Strangely enough, “happy ending” isn’t on the list of voice commands. -JM
