Jeb Bush Shocked His Apple Watch Does More Than Tell Time

GOP presidential candidate and sweater ascetic Jeb Bush’s emotional register on the campaign trail hovers between “mildly deflated” to “moderately chagrined”—but LOOK at how his eyes light up as he realizes that the expensive and impractical gadget he’s been wearing can make phone calls.


Finally, a ! moment for our favorite dour Floridian scion!

“My watch can’t be talking,” Bush said, as recognition that our merciless world can still contain a genuine surprise spreads across his face.


“I’ve never had my bat phone turned on,” Jeb continued. “That’s the coolest thing in the world.”

At last a fleeting moment of true joy, brought to Jeb by his trusty “iWatch.”

[USA Today via Cult of Mac]

GIF: Andrew Liszewski


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You know what I love about Bush? He simply, really, doesn’t give a shit.

Basically, he’s running for pres because it’s expected. However, over time, he has made it clear he simply could care less. He has, as he himself has stated, better things to do.

This watch video pretty much nails it. The guy has been sheltered, and is just finding out there is some amazingly cool shit in the world. And he would happily spend his time exploring shit.

The presidency thing? Very likely a one shot deal. Quite frankly, he is obviously just going through the motions, waiting until he is told it is okay to drop out of the race. At that point, he will drink beer, going on great vacations, fuck his wife, and play with his watch. Or his dick if his wife won’t play with him.

The man, to put it very mildly, is not in it to win it. He’s in it, but only because he was likely pushed into it. He really doesn’t give a shit about any of this, and he couldn’t make it any clearer.

On the bonus side, the electorate of the GOP isn’t really buying it either. From their side, they are just waiting for him to call it quits.

Bush, you go on with your bad self and have fun. Did you know that if you trade in that apple watch, that you can get a Gear S, and just skip having the cell phone altogether? You should get on that shit.