Oh, you silly iPod fans. Can't you see that Jens of Sweden out-classes you all! This is the MP-500, it plays MP4 video, MP3s, does voice recording, has stereo speakers and USB 2.0. Jens throws in a watch, an alarm and an FM radio with 24 automatically-set stations as well. Thinner than a box of matches and smaller than a credit card, the MP-500 comes in 1GB ($190) and 2GB ($243) sizes (not including VAT). The "Excentrique" edition has a 24-karat gold backside ($275). But all the bling in the world won't make up for the screen on the MP-500. It's a 1.6-inch, with 260K colors and a mere 128 x 128 resolution. Jens is also pimping Sony headphones and microphones as accessories. Available in February.