My Superpower Is More Useless Than Yours

Illustration for article titled My Superpower Is More Useless Than Yours

Flying, controlling the weather, and turning invisible are officially out. A new blog gives us the goods on the true superpowers of the future.


Ever thought about having gamma-ray vision? The power of in-flight flight (pictured)? An immunity to the thirteenth bullet? Well, it's time to explore the possibilities of these alternate abilities — the more useless side of superpowers, if you will. Superuseless Superpowers is paving the way through this ironic discussion, inventing talents such as psychic amnesia:

This superuseless superhero foresees the future while instantly forgetting anything he has just foreseen. Known in some circles as Untotal Recall.

The brains behind Superuseless Superpowers are an imaginative bunch. Maybe you'll never be able to move objects with your mind, but don't lose hope! You might one day be able to achieve 99% opacity.

[Superuseless Superpowers]


Benny Gesserit

If my latest job review is to be believed, I appear to be able to insult people simply by stating the truth and expecting them to do their jobs.

Hence, I've been scheduled to take this

[] as "rehab."

Bow before DR HONESTY

Wait, not tremble. Yes, tremble before DR HONESTY

No, no, wait, bow. Yes, bowing is good.